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If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a ...
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GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either
with us or ...
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Redneck Swimming Pool...
Redneck Yacht...
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Q: How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to change the bulb and one to hold the penis, I mean ladder.
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A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains ...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate ...
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One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have ...
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You know you're a Floridian if... Socks are only for bowling. You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes. A good parking place has ...
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After 6 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime ...
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Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative. My wife really ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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DEAR TIDE LAUNDRY DETERGENT:
I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have.
I've used it since the beginning of married life, when my
Mom told me it was the best. ...
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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"Hey, boss, I not come work today I really sick. I got headache, stomach
ache, and my legs hurt, I not come work."
The boss says: "You know Carlos I really need you today. ...
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Cowboy Wisdom
Don't squat with your spurs on.
Good judgment comes from experience and a lot of that comes from bad
judgment.
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole ...
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A blonde went to her mail box several times before it was even time for the
postman to make his rounds.
A neighbor noticed her repeated trips to the curb and asked if she was ...
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Be on the lookout for the following computer viruses:
* Woody Allen Virus: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.
* Tonya Harding Virus: Turns your BAT files ...
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Top 10 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon on your software development team:
10) Behold, the keyboard of Kaylis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever ...
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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...
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A visiting minister waxed eloquent during the offertory.
"Dear Lord", he began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "Without you we are ...
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A Floridian, a New Yorker, and a Canadian are in a bar one night having some
beers. The New Yorker drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the
air, pulls out a gun and ...
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Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are:
1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct ...
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Dr. Seuss on Aging
I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
I cannot screw
Oh, my God, what can I do?
My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell ...
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