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Nice Comeback

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From a recent National Public Radio (NPR) interview with Marine Corps General Reinwald... Marine Cops General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting ...

Redneck Limo

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Recently spotted on eBay...
redneck limo

James Bond

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A very confident James Bond walks into the English bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a ...

Cat Haiku

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You never feed me. Perhaps I'll sleep on your face. That will sure show you. I need a new toy. Tail of black dog keeps good time. Pounce! Good dog! Good dog! ...

Dr. Seuss on Aging

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Dr. Seuss on Aging I cannot see I cannot pee I cannot chew I cannot screw Oh, my God, what can I do? My memory shrinks My hearing stinks No sense of smell ...

17 reasons why alcohol should be served at work

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1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It leads to more honest communications. 3. It reduces complaints about low pay. 4. Employees tell management what they think, not what ...

Laws of Physics

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Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch, or you'll have  to pee. Law of the  Workshop: Any tool, when ...

Thinking Outside The Box

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You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you pass a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is ...

Why They Teach Math in School

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I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck. The guy had to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting the woman. This ...

Internet Ben Franklin's

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The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. You can't teach a new mouse old clicks. Great groups ...

No Mexican Jews

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No Mexican Jews . Sid and Al were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "are there any Jews in Mexico?" I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the ...

Adam's Mistake

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THE LOST CHAPTER OF GENESIS: Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely. So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to ...

Bra Sizes

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Ever wonder why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes? A - Almost Boobs B - Barely there C - Could do with a little more D - Damn good DD - Damn - Double Delight E ...

Be Nice To Nurses

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When you're hospitalized, it pays to be nice to your nurse, even when you're feeling miserable. A bossy businessman learned this the hard way after ordering his nurses around ...

Famous Quotes on Sex

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Tom Clancy: "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." Steve Martin: "You know 'that look' women get when they want sex? ...

Home Delivery

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A country doctor went to deliver a baby. The expectant mother's five year old son was with her, and the delivery was imminent. The house had no electricity, so the doctor ...

Man Bakes Fireworks, Blows Up Kitchen

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Thursday July 5 1:43 PM ET Missouri Man Bakes Fireworks, Blows Up Kitchen KANSAS CITY, Mo. (Reuters) - Fireworks hidden in a Kansas City man's oven turned out to be a ...

Password

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A female computer consultant was helping a smug male set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with. Wanting to embarrass the ...

TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA

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TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA: 10. Viagra, The quicker dicker upper 9. Viagra, One-a-day, like iron 8. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there ...

Better with age

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Strange Therapy Sessions A couple, both age 76, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual ...

Jig saw puzzle

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One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it." Her friend asks, ...

Little Johnny (quick ones)

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A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little ...

New State Mottos

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New State Mottos Alabama: At Least We're not Mississippi Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong! Arizona But It's a Dry Heat Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing ...

Colors

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When I was born - I was BLACK When I grow up - I am BLACK When I am sick - I am BLACK When I go out in the sun - I am BLACK When I go out in the cold - I am BLACK ...

 

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