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From a recent National Public Radio (NPR) interview with Marine Corps
General Reinwald...
Marine Cops General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop
visiting ...
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You are driving down the road in your car on a wild, stormy night, when you
pass a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is ...
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It's "Let's pick on men instead of blondes" time...
What do you call a handcuffed man?............Trustworthy.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath ...
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A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. ...
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No Mexican Jews .
Sid and Al were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. "Sid," asked Al,
"are there any Jews in Mexico?"
I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the ...
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Who wrote the Christmas song "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"?
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GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either
with us or ...
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Dr. Seuss on Aging
I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
I cannot screw
Oh, my God, what can I do?
My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell ...
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In the wake of Enron, MCI/Worldcom, and their venerable accounting firm of
Arthur Andersen, we have new definitions for some common financial terms...
EBIT
old: Earnings ...
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Ever wonder what happened to all those celebrities who promised to leave the country if George W. Bush was elected president?
The original statements:
Eddie Vedder - "I'm ...
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A country doctor went to deliver a baby. The expectant mother's five year
old son was with her, and the delivery was imminent. The house had no
electricity, so the doctor ...
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Little Johnny and Susie are only ten years old, but they're sure they're in
love and decided they wanted to get married.
Little Johnny bravely approached Susie's father and ...
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TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA:
10. Viagra, The quicker dicker upper
9. Viagra, One-a-day, like iron
8. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there ...
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Strange Therapy Sessions
A couple, both age 76, went to a sex therapist's office. The
doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual ...
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This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation between a US naval
ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995.
Radio conversation ...
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What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps
with everyone at the party except you.
What's the ...
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Dear Mom and Dad:
It has been four months since I left for college. I have been remiss in
writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness. I will bring you up to
date now, ...
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BACKSEAT DRIVER
A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer.
The following exchange takes place.... The man says, "What's
the problem officer?"
Officer: ...
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A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students
might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas
season emphasis on His birth.
...
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Recently spotted on eBay...
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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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The phone rang as I was setting down to my anticipated evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with, "Is this William Wagenhoss?" This didn't sound anything like my ...
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A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the ...
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