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Mexican Food

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Texan cowboy stopped at a restaurant in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.  Not only did it look good, ...

It takes an Italian Man to make a Woman feel like a Woman...

Viewed 9 times
On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in ...

Larry with a hangover

Viewed 8 times
Larry wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He ...

Anger Management

Viewed 7 times
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

Things that sound dirty at Christmas...

Viewed 6 times
But aren't . . . I think your balls are hanging too low. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall. Santa's sack is really bulging! Did you get ...

Good Advice From Grandpa

Viewed 6 times
I hope that this will once again confirm that the most important information in your life won't come from a teacher, the library or the internet, but from a mentor, and on a ...

Blonde Joke

Viewed 6 times
A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was ...

Santa's Little Helpers

Viewed 6 times
I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
Santa's little helpers

Business Slogans Translated

Viewed 6 times
From "American Demographics" magazine: Here's a look at how shrewd American business people translate their slogans into foreign languages: When Braniff translated a slogan ...

Clinton's New Dog

Viewed 6 times
As most of you already know, former President Clinton's dog Buddy was killed when he ran out in front of an automobile. A nationwide search is underway to find a replacement for ...

Final Exam - No Excuses

Viewed 5 times
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...

The Doctor's Office

Viewed 5 times
They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...

25 Ways To Tell You're Grown Up

Viewed 5 times
1.  Your Houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2.  Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3.  You keep more food than beer in the ...

Wine vs. Water

Viewed 5 times
As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that ...

Vatican Bathroom

Viewed 5 times
Fathers Pietro and George are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals.  Father Pietro looks at the other priest's equipment and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on the ...

Boys

Viewed 5 times
You find out interesting things when you have sons, like...   1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.   2.) If you spray ...

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Viewed 5 times
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. ...

Quick Thinking

Viewed 5 times
A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole ...

Lawyer Jokes

Viewed 5 times
The post office just recalled their newest stamps: they had pictures of lawyers on them...and the people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. How are an apple and a ...

Jig saw puzzle

Viewed 5 times
One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Please come over and help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to start it." Her friend asks, ...

Useful Work Phrases

Viewed 5 times
How about never? Is never good for you? I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change ...

Bill Sux at .18 Microns

Viewed 5 times
API - Time Magazine reports an interesting case of high-tech graffiti. It seems that a couple of Intel engineers working on the design of a recent version of the Pentium ...

10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say

Viewed 5 times
10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say: 10) "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex" 9) Duct tape won't fix that 8) Come to think of it I'll have a Heiniken's ...

Abe and John - Weird

Viewed 5 times
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was ...

 

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