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LETTER FROM A FARM KID, NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats ...
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1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. You know stuff about cars.
4. A five day vacation requires only one ...
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How about never? Is never good for you?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change ...
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What I Want In a Man, Original List ... (at age 22)
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially Successful
4. A Caring Listener
5. Witty
6. In Good Shape
...
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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate ...
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20 Useful Expressions for High-Stress Days
1. Well, aren't we just a ray of f_cking sunshine?
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. A hard-on doesn't ...
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Next time you find yourself running dry on interesting tidbits of
conversational matter ...
Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following Islamic law:
"After having ...
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All stessed out?
Sometimes it helps to think of happy scenes. Maybe a pastoral field, a
field with a babbling brook.
You're there on a lovely summer's day......holding ...
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1. Your Houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the ...
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A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist
for some arsenic.
The druggist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with
arsenic?"
The lady say's "To kill my husband."
...
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The top 20 thinnest books
20. HOW TO LAND A PLANE AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD - by JFK, Jr.
19. HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN - by John Bobbit
18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. ...
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Top 10 Blond Inventions
1) The water-proof towel
2) Solar powered flashlight
3) Submarine screen door
4) A book on how to read
5) Inflatable dart board
6) A ...
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A dictionary for software engineers:
Alpha: Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in
getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work."
Beta: Software ...
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WILL HE JUMP?
A blonde and brunette were watching the 6 o'clock news. The news was
about a man about ready to jump off a bridge. The brunette turns to the
blonde and says " ...
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I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer
guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the
problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum ...
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1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.
2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
...
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'Hi, Jack' on plane triggers SWAT team by Shawn D. Lewis / The Detroit News ( http://detnews.com/ ) Waterford - Pilots named Jack, beware. Minutes after a boarding ...
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Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a
desert. Although it had no significant value, Congress said. "Someone
may steal from it at night."
...
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After all those jokes about from the Boomers, finally here is one
for those folks in between.
You're stuck between the Baby Boomers and Generations X'ers if...
1. You ...
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10 WORDS THAT DON'T EXIST, BUT SHOULD:
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
2. CARPERPETUATION ...
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100 FUN WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a ...
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