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Capitalism and Cows

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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN ...

Skateboarding Dog

Viewed 10 times
Don't really know much about this clip. But the dog's name is Tyson. And he's very cool.

100 fun ways to order pizza

Viewed 9 times
100 FUN WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER 1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a ...

Nickel

Viewed 9 times
There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at Alley's Grocery Store. I don't know what Junior's problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two bricks ...

Anger Management

Viewed 8 times
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

20 reasons why chocolate is better than sex

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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX: 1) You can GET chocolate. 2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate. 3) Chocolate ...

Clinton's New Dog

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As most of you already know, former President Clinton's dog Buddy was killed when he ran out in front of an automobile. A nationwide search is underway to find a replacement for ...

Why cats don't like tequila

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Too much time, and tequila, and too many limes...
lime kitty

20 thinnest books

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The top 20 thinnest books 20. HOW TO LAND A PLANE AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD - by JFK, Jr. 19. HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN - by John Bobbit 18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. ...

Had a bad day

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Just in case you've had a rough day, here's a stress management technique. Recommended in all the latest psychological texts. The funny thing is that it really works... 1. ...

Anagrams

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An Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out ...

When God created man...

Viewed 6 times
FINALLY... THE TRUE STORY... One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you've created me ...

Firing Squad

Viewed 6 times
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any ...

Abe and John - Weird

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Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was ...

Final Exam - No Excuses

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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...

A year without Santa Claus, the untold story...

Viewed 5 times
Because you're old enough now to know what REALLY happened...

Generic name for Viagra

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In pharmacology, all drugs have two names; a trade name and a generic name.For example, the trade name of Tylenol has a generic name of acetaminophen. Aleve is also called ...

Comparing Stories

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Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates, and are comparing stories on how they had died. "I froze to death," said the first woman. "You froze to death, how horrible!" ...

Justice in the Middle East

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A Dutchman, an Australian, and a New Zealander are in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when Saudi police rush in and arrest them. The mere possession of alcohol ...

12 Rules for Life

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Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are: 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas. 2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct ...

Gender

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What Gender Is It? ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them. SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it appears ...

New Foreign Phrases

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Winners of a New York Magazine contest who were asked to take a well known expression in a foreign language, change a single letter and provide a definition for the new ...

Top Ten times in history when using the 'F' word was appropriate

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Number10: "Scattered @#$% ing showers, my ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC Number 9: "How the @#$% did you work that out?" - Pythagorus, 126 BC Number 8: "You want WHAT ...

Bill of Rights

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Bill of Rights restated State Representative Mitchell Kaye of Georgia wrote the following: We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get ...

 

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