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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
Viewed 13 times
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
Viewed 12 times
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...
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The Ultimate Urban Legend...
I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's
(sent to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people,
celebrating ...
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Two cowboys were leanin up against the rail at
their favorite bar. They're tired and worn out from
a long day, havin a couple of longnecks, just relaxin
and talkin, watchin ...
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10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say:
10) "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
9) Duct tape won't fix that
8) Come to think of it I'll have a Heiniken's
...
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Childrens Book Titles You'll Never See
You Were an Accident
Strangers Have the Best Candy
The Little Sissy Who Snitched
Some Kittens Can Fly!
The Protocols of the ...
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INSULTS
========
* Do they ever shut up on your planet?
* Earth is full. Go home.
* And which dwarf are you?
* If I throw a stick, will you leave?
* Whatever kind ...
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The pharmacy
One day a young man went to a pharmacy and asked the little old lady behind the counter if he could speak to the pharmacist. "I am the pharmacist," she informed ...
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Heavenly Entrance Exam
The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are
closed, however, ...
Viewed 7 times
Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative. My wife really ...
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Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the ...
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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PLANT CITY, FL - Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample a new discount item - Wal-Mart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J ...
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Fugitive Cow Finally Captured
The bovine escapee who eluded Cincinnati's finest for 12 days is finally
behind bars tonight. It took the SPCA, three decoy cows, and two shots ...
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A Scottish old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, says to a young man, "Lad, look
out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I
built that fence stone by ...
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Dear Santa: Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid ...
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WOMEN:
Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving. They are smart, knowing that
knowledge is power. But they still know how to use their softer side to
make a point.
Women ...
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Strange Therapy Sessions
A couple, both age 76, went to a sex therapist's office. The
doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual ...
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Jesus joined a threesome on the first hole. The drive had to be hit
over two small lakes to reach a green surrounded by sandtraps.
Jesus said "OK, I'll do this one. If Palmer ...
Viewed 7 times
Thanksgiving Dinner
Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm
telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart
won't be coming, I've ...
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As most of you already know, former President Clinton's dog Buddy was killed when he ran out in front of an automobile. A nationwide search is underway to find a replacement for ...
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A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy ...
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If the enemy is in range, so are you.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
There is always a way.
The easy way is always mined.
...
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