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I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely, so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab. ...
Viewed 20 times
John Cleese was recently asked on American TV what he thought the
differences between the English and the Americans were.
In reply he said that there were three differences: ...
Viewed 18 times
Husbands, please take note!
Every "Hormone Hostage" knows that there are days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands.
...
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What US president once said "It is a good thing I am not a woman, as I would
always be pregnant, for I cannot say no"
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Redmond, WA (UPI) -
Microsoft announced today that the official release date for the new
operating system "Windows 2000" will be delayed until the second quarter
of 1901.
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The Washington Post published a contest for readers in which they were asked
to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of
the winning entries:
...
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Note: Unlike many such things, this really is a true story. You can
hear the audio clip at http://www.snopes2.com/radiotv/audio/newlywed.rm
Just think, where would we be
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Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk
Indubitably
Innovative
Preliminary
Proliferation
Cinnamon
Things that are very difficult to say when you're ...
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Before the election, Bush was asked by Oprah Winfrey if he worried about what other people think of him. He replied...
"I care what 51 percent of the people think of me."
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BENEFITS OF BEING A WOMAN
We got off the Titanic first.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
We get to flirt with systems support men ...
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One day a florist goes for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies: "I am sorry. I cannot accept money from you, I am doing community service." ...
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A blonde is going on her first trip overseas. She drives all the way to
Miami to apply for a passport. In the passport office, the government
official sees that she is visibly ...
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Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually mean)
10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in Deliverance.")
...
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BATHROOM GRAFFITI:
"To some it's a six pack, to me it's a support group."
"The poor folks in Arkansas won't be celebrating Thanksgiving this year,
they sent their turkey to ...
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It is reported that the following edition of the Book of Genesis was
discovered in the Dead Seal Scrolls. If authentic, it would shed light
on the question, "Where do pets come ...
Viewed 9 times
Friends don't let friends take home ugly men.
- Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE
Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" It's "Hi, how are you?"
- Rest stop ...
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Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's
station wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they
got caught in a terrible blizzard. They ...
Viewed 9 times
REMEMBER WHEN....
A computer was something on TV
from a science fiction show.
A window was something you hated to clean
and RAM was the cousin of a goat.
MEG was ...
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The following quotes were taken from actual medical records dictated by physicians. They appeared in a column written by Richard Lederer, Ph.D., for the Journal of Court Reporting. ...
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NEW WORDS FOR 2004: Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary
BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was
missed or a project failed, and ...
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"When we yelled 'Sacrifice the chocolate rabbit' they jumped out of their parked cars and started to circle us. They were praying hard. It was really chaos."
- High Priestess ...
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Q: What do you do when an epileptic has an attack while he's in the bathtub?
A: Throw in your dirty laundry.
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"No, no, you didn't! Your sister was in there!"
- Marvin Tippery, to his sister Judy Money, upon hearing that she had just
returned the decorative box he gave her for ...
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"Almighty God, ... Keep us we pray, from thinking of ourselves more highly
than we ought to think, and ready at all times to step aside for others."
- prayer on the feast of ...
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