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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
Viewed 6 times
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods...
1. On Sears hairdryer:
"Do ...
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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A Man's Guide to What a Woman Is Really Saying
I need = I want
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do whatever you ...
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A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on
the front porch with her bags packed.
He asked her where she was going, and she replied, "I'm going
to Las ...
Viewed 5 times
It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up. Inevitably though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social ...
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Into an Irish pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over
by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and
bruised and he's walking ...
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A man calls home to his wife and says, Honey I have
been asked to go fishing at a big lake up in Canada with
my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a
week.
...
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Dearest Redneck Son,
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We
don't live where we did when you left home. Your Dad read
in the newspaper that most ...
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"The Five Commercials Aired During The Lewinsky/Walters
Interview" (and yes, these really did air during the interview)
5. Victoria's Secret lingerie.
4. Burger King - ...
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A recent Cincinnati Inquirer headline read, "Smell of baked bread may be health hazard." The article went on to describe the dangers of the smell of baking bread. The main danger, ...
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A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers
stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign
on the door saying
"NERDS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR ...
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A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she ...
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Blonde Riding
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs ...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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Elmer, an 80 year-old stumbled into the doctor's office all
excited and in a tither.
"doc .. I've lost my hearing!" Elmer yelled.
"let's examine the problem," the doc said. ...
Viewed 4 times
A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior
culture.
The Greek said, "We have the Parthenon." The Italian said, "We have the
Coliseum."
...
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A while back, there were two kingdoms situated close by each other. One
kingdom had a powerful king, and the other had a relatively weak king. The
difference, or so everybody ...
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Winners of a New York Magazine contest who were asked to take a
well known expression in a foreign language, change a single letter
and provide a definition for the new ...
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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for ...
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Here are some quotes from Hollywood Squares Game Show in the 70's, when
game show's responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are
now. God bless Paul Lynde, Rose ...
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A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked if it was dead or alive.
"Dead," she was informed. "How do you know?", she asked. "Because I pissed in his
ear ...
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Mid-life is when the growth of the hair on our legs slows down.
This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.
Mid-life women no longer have upper ...
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The top 20 thinnest books
20. HOW TO LAND A PLANE AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD - by JFK, Jr.
19. HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN - by John Bobbit
18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. ...
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