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Punch Lines

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick. What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra. What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka. ...

Cave Symbols

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A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance. 1. A dog 2. A ...

Capitalism and Cows

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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN ...

Monkey, Lizard, and a Crocodile

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A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, ...

Poor Maria

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Maria is a devout Catholic: She gets married and has 17 children. Soon after the last child is born her husband dies. A few weeks later she remarries and over the following ...

What's in a Name

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4/1/2001 San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge to officially become the TransAmerica Bridge. by contributing editor April Olfos (SAN FRANCISCO-UPI) The city of San ...

100 Years Ago

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It may be hard to believe how times have changed in the last 100 years. "100 Years Ago" The average life expectancy in the United States was forty-seven. Only 14 ...

Brian's Bad Day

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Gives the words "bad day" a whole new perspective... Brian is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers out of Louisiana and performs underwater repairs on offshore ...

Interview

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The executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a ...

Future Darwin Award Nominees

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For those who are unfamiliar with the Darwin Award, it is given to those who prove by their actions that Darwin was right... People that stupid don't survive long enought to ...

Special Day!

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Today is International Disadvantaged People's Day.  Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend,just as I've done.  I don't care if you lick ...

Anger Management

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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

One-Question IQ Test

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Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day ... There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush.  By imitating the action of ...

Generic name for Viagra

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In pharmacology, all drugs have two names; a trade name and a generic name.For example, the trade name of Tylenol has a generic name of acetaminophen. Aleve is also called ...

Interesting

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Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the frist and lsat ltteer is at ...

BARS virus

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The World Health Organization (WHO) has just issued an urgent warning about BARS (Beer Alcohol Requirement Syndrome). A newly identified problem has spread rapidly throughout ...

Quick Ones 5

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Dijon vu - the same mustard as before. Practice safe eating - always use condiments. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. A man needs a mistress just to break the ...

The Divorce

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Divorcing After 45 Years An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; ...

A Man and His Tool

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A guy walks into a doctor's office and stutters, "Da-da-doc, I've ba-ba-been sta-sta-stuttering for ye-ye-years, and I ca-ca-can't stand it anymo-mo-more! Can you he-he-help me?" ...

Windows Start

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A revised version of the default Windows startup sound…

Sipping Vodka

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Sipping Vodka A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied,"When I am ...

Dogs and Cats

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WHAT IS A CAT ? 1) Cats do what they want 2) They rarely listen to you 3) They're totally unpredictable 4) They whine when they are not happy 5) When you want to ...

Rules for editing your writing

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Here is a new set of rules for editing your writing. 1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don't start a ...

Kosovo Explained

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Secretary of State Madeleine Albright walked into the decisive meeting of the North Atlantic Council (NATO's supreme political authority) and, after looking around the room and ...

 

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