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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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Larry Walters is among the relatively few who have actually turned their dreams into reality. His story is true, though you may find it hard to believe. Larry was a truck ...
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A man with no arms and no legs is out lying on the beach one day,
enjoying his chance to get some sun. All of a sudden, a beautiful woman
walks by and stops. "You poor man," ...
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Are you a prostitute or a software consultant…
1. You work very odd hours.
2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client
happy.
3. You are paid well
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A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy and bring him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going to die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish ...
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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you will see, represents the black ...
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Here's a Riddle for You:
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
The ...
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Top 10 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon on your software development team:
10) Behold, the keyboard of Kaylis! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever ...
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A dictionary for software engineers:
Alpha: Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in
getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work."
Beta: Software ...
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My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me. My girlfriend? She was a ...
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Just wanted to warn everyone there's a new virus
-code name is "Work." If you receive "Work" from
your colleagues, your boss, or any one else, do not
touch "Work" under any ...
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A reporter goes to Israel to cover the fighting. She is looking for
something emotional and positive and of human interest. Something like that
guy in Sarajevo who risked his ...
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A little old man shuffled slowly...
into an ice cream parlor.
He pulled himself slowly...
painfully...
up onto a stool...
After catching his breath...
he ordered a ...
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A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV,
and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts."
She looked a little puzzled, but ...
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CDW is currently running a contest to find the best IT story. They have
narrowed the field down to 14 finalists. This one is my personal favorite.
(The rest are online at
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A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked
to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told
him that they only sold whole ...
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1. "Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam." (seen on Cape Cod)
2. "That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" (seen on an 8 year old)
3. "Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to ...
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Ya know, just make up your own joke here...
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from Andy Rooney On Ads In Bills: Have you ever noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk ...
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Two cowboys were leanin up against the rail at
their favorite bar. They're tired and worn out from
a long day, havin a couple of longnecks, just relaxin
and talkin, watchin ...
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If you're a kleptomanic, take something for it.
I hope I die quietly in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in
horror like his passengers.
"Very funny, Scotty. Now ...
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Moses, Jesus, and another guy were out playing golf in Heaven one day.
Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in the
fairway but rolled directly toward a ...
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DEEP THOUGHTS...
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Atheism is a nonprophet organization.
If ...
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A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains ...
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