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Nerds Forever

Viewed 12 times
The answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?", I submit the following: Michael Jordan makes over $300,000 a game. That = $10,000 a minute, at an ...

25 Ways To Tell You're Grown Up

Viewed 11 times
1.  Your Houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2.  Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3.  You keep more food than beer in the ...

Computer Problems

Viewed 10 times
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum ...

Star Trek TNG Meets Microsoft

Viewed 9 times
Star Trek TNG Meets Microsoft Picard: Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access ...

English

Viewed 9 times
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, ...

Take five minutes and chuckle

Viewed 8 times
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...

Resusci-Annie

Viewed 8 times
Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin victim, Resusci-Annie, to practice. Typical ...

Final Exam - No Excuses

Viewed 7 times
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...

Vatican Bathroom

Viewed 7 times
Fathers Pietro and George are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals.  Father Pietro looks at the other priest's equipment and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on the ...

Anger Management

Viewed 7 times
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

12 Rules for Life

Viewed 7 times
Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are: 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas. 2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct ...

48 phrases we wish we could say at work

Viewed 7 times
1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again... 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for ...

Famous Quotes on Sex

Viewed 7 times
Tom Clancy: "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." Steve Martin: "You know 'that look' women get when they want sex? ...

Blonde Joke 10

Viewed 7 times
A ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of "dumb blonde" jokes, when a blonde woman in the 4th ...

It takes an Italian Man to make a Woman feel like a Woman...

Viewed 6 times
On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in ...

Interesting statistic from a DC Analyst in Training

Viewed 6 times
If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the last 22  months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that  gives a ...

Golf on Christmas

Viewed 6 times
Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go ...

BARS virus

Viewed 6 times
The World Health Organization (WHO) has just issued an urgent warning about BARS (Beer Alcohol Requirement Syndrome). A newly identified problem has spread rapidly throughout ...

Taking the wife to the Rodeo

Viewed 6 times
A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, "This bull mated 50 times ...

Getting Older

Viewed 6 times
GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER 1. Sag, You're it. 2. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy. 3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear. 4. Kick the bucket. 5. Red Rover, Red ...

MacGregor the Fence Builder

Viewed 6 times
A Scottish old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, says to a young man, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by ...

25 Proverbs to a Healthier Life

Viewed 6 times
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going ...

Golf

Viewed 6 times
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next ...

20 thinnest books

Viewed 6 times
The top 20 thinnest books 20. HOW TO LAND A PLANE AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD - by JFK, Jr. 19. HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN - by John Bobbit 18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. ...

 

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