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Redneck Swimming Pool...
Redneck Yacht...
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A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the ...
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The following pseudo-mathematical proof was posted to rec.games.board:
What about this:
We know that women like two things, your time and your money,
therefore...
women ...
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For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
See if they can do it again.
For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me
Ask them how they did it and ...
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30 Things Never to Say to a Naked Man
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, it's cute.
3. Why don't we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix ...
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21 Very Short Books
1) A Guide to Arab Democracies
2) A Journey through the Mind of Dennis Rodman
3) Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean
4) Career ...
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100 FUN WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a ...
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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...
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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy in Opp , Alabama . He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New ...
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Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to
people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that
homosexuality is an abomination according to ...
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Sex sandals This married couple was on holiday in India. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed this sandal shop. From ...
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TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA:
10. Viagra, The quicker dicker upper
9. Viagra, One-a-day, like iron
8. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there ...
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When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy. ...
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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate ...
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Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
A. Money
...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans.
Bean = vegetable.
Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar BEETS.
Both of them are plants, in the vegetable category.
Thus, ...
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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If ...
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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka.
...
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A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She
started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little ...
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An old man went to the social security office to apply for benefits.
When asked to show his birth certificate he stated that he didn't have
one, so he removed his shirt and ...
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PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN It Still Does Nothing
APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
SCSI System Can't See It
...
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A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that could service all of his many hens ...
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