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Blonde Joke 3

Viewed 7 times
A blonde goes into a restaurant and notices there's a "peel and win" sticker on her coffee cup. So she peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motorhome! I've won a ...

Ever wonder what would happen if...

Viewed 6 times
Have you ever wondered what would happen if everyone jumped up and down all at the same time? Well, thanks to modern science, we now have an answer... Friday September 7 9:55 ...

Pants

Viewed 6 times
A young couple, just married, was in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband who was a big burly man tossed his pants to his ...

Monkey, Lizard, and a Crocodile

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A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, ...

Software

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Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and 12-paragraph disclaimer notice ...

Old Age

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A little old man shuffled slowly... into an ice cream parlor. He pulled himself slowly... painfully... up onto a stool... After catching his breath... he ordered a ...

Women Drivers

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I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This ...

No arms and no legs

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A man with no arms and no legs is out lying on the beach one day, enjoying his chance to get some sun. All of a sudden, a beautiful woman walks by and stops. "You poor man," ...

Christmas in Japan

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(from the AFU & Urban Legends Archive - www.urbanlegends.com) Financial Times, December 27, 1984: 'If Christmas cheer is easily assimilated into Japanese office parties ...

Nursing home

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One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a ...

Corporate America in the 90's

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You know you work in corporate America in the 90's if: 1. You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies. 2. Your company welcome sign is ...

Damn kid

Viewed 5 times
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her ...

Corporate America

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You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When... 1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are. 2. You decide to re-organize your family into a ...

Scam

Viewed 5 times
Australian Police have been totally unable to recommend a prosecution for the following scam: A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply ...

A Horse and a Chicken

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A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The ...

Little Johnny (4)

Viewed 5 times
A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains ...

Charlie Brown

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A few years ago Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang made a new friend who developed leukemia in an animated special entitled, "Why Me, Charlie Brown?" Recently MetLife put ...

Abe and John - Weird

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Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was ...

Final Exam - No Excuses

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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...

God as a Computer Programmer

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Some Important Theological Questions are Answered if we think of God as a Computer Programmer.  Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life? A: He could, if he used the ...

Alabama Traffic Stop

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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets  pulled over by a sheriff's deputy in Opp , Alabama . He thinks that he is smarter than  the deputy because he is a lawyer from New ...

How Many Dogs...

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How Many Dogs/Cats Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb? Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside ...

12 Rules for Life

Viewed 4 times
Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are: 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas. 2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct ...

Santa's Little Helpers

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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
Santa's little helpers

 

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