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Twelve bugs of Christmas

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For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me See if they can do it again. For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me Ask them how they did it and ...

Anger Management

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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

Take five minutes and chuckle

Viewed 18 times
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...

A Redneck Christmas

Viewed 17 times

Cat Carrier

Viewed 16 times
Cat Carrier

The Book of Leviticus

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Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that homosexuality is an abomination according to ...

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm

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A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and announces: "This is an amazing octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar that ...

Redneck Limo

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Recently spotted on eBay...
redneck limo

Tight skirt

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In a crowded city, at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini-skirt with matching leather boots and jacket. ...

Man Bakes Fireworks, Blows Up Kitchen

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Thursday July 5 1:43 PM ET Missouri Man Bakes Fireworks, Blows Up Kitchen KANSAS CITY, Mo. (Reuters) - Fireworks hidden in a Kansas City man's oven turned out to be a ...

Raunchy One Liners

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What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you. What's the ...

83 things you do NOT want your System Administrator to say

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83 things you do NOT want your System Administrator to say: - 1. uh-oh.... 2. Oh S***! 3. What the heck?!? 4. Go get your backup tape. (You DO

Are you a prostitute or a software consultant...

Viewed 9 times
Are you a prostitute or a software consultant… 1. You work very odd hours. 2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy. 3. You are paid well

100 fun ways to order pizza

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100 FUN WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER 1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a ...

Capitalism and Cows

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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN ...

Some of My Favorite Christmas Carols...

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"Rudolph the Reindeer with an Inner Ear Infection"  "Away in a Drunk Tank"  "Here We Come A-Wassailing, Whatever the Hell That Means"  "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Infected"  ...

12 Rules for Life

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Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are: 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas. 2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct ...

True Story

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True story - Neil Armstrong Truth is stranger than fiction When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, not only gave his famous "one small step ...

Steven Wright Bumper Stickers

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1. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm 2. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines 3. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets ...

The Doctor's Office

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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...

At last, the perfect Christmas card

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Dear recipient, Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender ...

Material Success

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The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin ...

A Good Pun Is Its Own Reward

Viewed 7 times
Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.  A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.  A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.  My wife really ...

Holiday Greetings

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From me ("the Wishor") to you (hereinafter called the "Wishee"): Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially ...

 

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