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Anger Management

Viewed 226 times
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

Trucker

Viewed 35 times
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says ...

Raunchy One Liners

Viewed 13 times
What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you. What's the ...

Take five minutes and chuckle

Viewed 11 times
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...

Redneck Luxuries

Viewed 11 times
Redneck Swimming Pool...
Pool Redneck Yacht... Yacht

Final Exam - No Excuses

Viewed 10 times
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...

The Doctor's Office

Viewed 8 times
They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...

25 Ways To Tell You're Grown Up

Viewed 7 times
1.  Your Houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2.  Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3.  You keep more food than beer in the ...

At last, the perfect Christmas card

Viewed 7 times
Dear recipient, Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender ...

10 Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer

Viewed 7 times
10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my ...

Capitalism and Cows

Viewed 7 times
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN ...

Boot Camp

Viewed 6 times
LETTER FROM A FARM KID, NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats ...

25 Proverbs to a Healthier Life

Viewed 6 times
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going ...

A Woman's Random Thoughts

Viewed 6 times
I read this article that said typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, smoking too much, impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a ...

Cars

Viewed 6 times
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer ...

MS Virgin

Viewed 6 times
MICROSOFT VIRGIN Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three Microsoft employees and still died a virgin? Her first husband was in Training, and ...

Abe and John - Weird

Viewed 6 times
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was ...

Redneck Limo

Viewed 6 times
Recently spotted on eBay...
redneck limo

God as a Computer Programmer

Viewed 5 times
Some Important Theological Questions are Answered if we think of God as a Computer Programmer.  Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life? A: He could, if he used the ...

One-Question IQ Test

Viewed 5 times
Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day ... There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush.  By imitating the action of ...

Further proof that the human race is doomed

Viewed 5 times
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods... 1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do ...

...walks into a bar

Viewed 5 times
Two peanuts walked into a bar. One was a salted. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." A sandwich walks into a bar. ...

The 'Forwarders' 12 Step Program

Viewed 5 times
Everyone say it with me: 1) I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I DON'T forward an email. 2) I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, ...

48 phrases we wish we could say at work

Viewed 5 times
1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again... 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for ...

 

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