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The answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?", I submit the following:
Michael Jordan makes over $300,000 a game. That = $10,000 a minute, at an ...
Viewed 11 times
1. Your Houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the ...
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I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Rick the computer
guy, to come over. Rick clicked a couple of buttons and solved the
problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum ...
Viewed 9 times
Star Trek TNG Meets Microsoft
Picard: Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your
attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And
Mr. Data, have you been able to access ...
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The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
communications, rather than German, ...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take
a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin victim,
Resusci-Annie, to practice. Typical ...
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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...
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Fathers Pietro and George are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals. Father Pietro looks at the other priest's equipment and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on the ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are:
1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct ...
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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for ...
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Tom Clancy: "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy."
Steve Martin: "You know 'that look' women get when they want sex? ...
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A ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a
small town. He's going through his usual run of "dumb blonde" jokes, when
a blonde woman in the 4th ...
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On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in ...
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If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a ...
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Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how
nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and
without an argument go ...
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The World Health Organization (WHO) has just issued an urgent warning about
BARS (Beer Alcohol Requirement Syndrome). A newly identified problem has
spread rapidly throughout ...
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A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding
bulls.
They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, "This bull
mated 50 times ...
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GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER
1. Sag, You're it.
2. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket.
5. Red Rover, Red ...
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A Scottish old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, says to a young man, "Lad, look
out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I
built that fence stone by ...
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1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going ...
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A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One
of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral
procession on the road next ...
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The top 20 thinnest books
20. HOW TO LAND A PLANE AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD - by JFK, Jr.
19. HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN - by John Bobbit
18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. ...
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