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If Men Ruled the World...
- Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable
response to "I love you."
- Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name ...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One
of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral
procession on the road next ...
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Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and what they actually mean)
10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in Deliverance.")
...
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A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the ...
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My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you
happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it
all over the doorknobs. ...
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Rest in Peace, Colonel Klink
Thursday December 07 10:06 PM EST
Werner Klemperer, the man guaranteed tube immortality as the bumbling Colonel Klink on TV's Hogan's Heroes, ...
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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...
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One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went ...
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The New Pope Ratzinger was not the first choice for Pope. As I understand it, Ratzinger was not the Cardinals first choice. Interestingly, they were considering Cardinal Hans ...
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A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, ...
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Network Blitz
While I was driving down the road the other day (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed over a bridge only to see a cop on the other side with a ...
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Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans.
Bean = vegetable.
Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar BEETS.
Both of them are plants, in the vegetable category.
Thus, ...
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A revised version of the default Windows startup sound…
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The New Survivor Show
Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show?
6 men will be dropped on an island with 1 van and 4 kids each, for 6
weeks.
Each kid plays ...
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Trent Dilfer recently returned home and had an incredibly hard time
getting into the front door. It seems someone painted an end zone in
front of the house.
Trent Dilfer was ...
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TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA:
10. Viagra, The quicker dicker upper
9. Viagra, One-a-day, like iron
8. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there ...
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This is the transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation between a US naval
ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995.
Radio conversation ...
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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate ...
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A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance.
1. A dog
2. A ...
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The pharmacy
One day a young man went to a pharmacy and asked the little old lady behind the counter if he could speak to the pharmacist. "I am the pharmacist," she informed ...
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REDMOND, Wash. - Nov. 14, 1997 - In direct response to accusations made
by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that it
will be acquiring the federal ...
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How would our lifes be different if Microsoft built cars?
1. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas.
2. You would constantly be pressured to upgrade your car.
3. You ...
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A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students
might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas
season emphasis on His birth.
...
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