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One-Question IQ Test

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Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day ... There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush.  By imitating the action of ...

Anger Management

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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

Capitalism and Cows

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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN ...

The Cowhand

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There once was a successful rancher who died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch and make a go of it but she knew very little about ...

Final Exam - No Excuses

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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...

Santa's Little Helpers

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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
Santa's little helpers

Take five minutes and chuckle

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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...

Raunchy One Liners

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What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you. What's the ...

Redneck Limo

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Recently spotted on eBay...
redneck limo

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

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1. Blaming your farts on me....not funny...not funny at all!  2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!  3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me ...

Wine vs. Water

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As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that ...

TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA

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TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA: 10. Viagra, The quicker dicker upper 9. Viagra, One-a-day, like iron 8. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there ...

Saddam

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FUN WITH SADDAM AND BILL Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down, he notices ...

Hail to the Chief

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Did you know that Bill Clinton is considering changing the Democratic seal from a donkey to a condom, because it represents inflation, halts production, and gives you a false ...

Mindless trivia

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Interesting but mindless trivia ... Did you know that.....? Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. ...

100 fun ways to order pizza

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100 FUN WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER 1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. 2. Make up a ...

The Doctor's Office

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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...

God as a Computer Programmer

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Some Important Theological Questions are Answered if we think of God as a Computer Programmer.  Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life? A: He could, if he used the ...

Abbott & Costello in the 21st Century

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ABBOTT: Fry's Electronics. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up a home office in the den, and I'm thinking of buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the ...

Further proof that the human race is doomed

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In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods... 1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do ...

Accuracy Movement Spreading to Other Memorials

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Accuracy Movement Spreading to Other Memorials Jan 17, 2002 (NEW YORK) The New York City Fire Department commissioned a statue of the famous photo of three firemen hoisting an ...

The Pillsbury Doughboy

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Dear Friends: It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following news. Please join me in remembering a great icon. Veteran Pillsbury spokesperson, The ...

Stupid People

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They're everywhere. This one, according to today's New Haven Register, was observed in the Wallingford, CT post office: A man walks into the Wallingford post office, says that ...

Family Planning

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Redneck birth control After having their 11th child, a Missouri couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his ...

 

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