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The bartender was washing his glasses, when an elderly Irishman came in. With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, and ...
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One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have ...
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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...
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GOOD:
A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but
wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 10-year-old boy
was standing up the road with a hand ...
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For high school and college graduates, here is a list of 11 things they did
not learn in school. In his book, Bill Gates talks about how feel-good,
politically correct ...
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I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely, so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab. ...
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Abort, Retry, Ignore?
by: Anonymous Works
Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
...
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Who said "A sewer worker is like a brain surgeon. We're both specialists."
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.
2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
...
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A Mississippi woodpecker and a Texas woodpecker were in Mississippi
arguing about which state had the toughest trees to peck.
The Mississippi woodpecker said that they had a ...
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Friday January 26 12:27 PM ET
Police Not Amused by Breakfast Prank
DALLAS (Reuters) - A police dispatcher who tasted something funny when
she bit into a breakfast tortilla ...
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The police academy instructor was conducting an in-class survey,
questioning three blonde female officers who were training to become
detectives. To test their skills in ...
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George W. Bush quotes:
"Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it."
"It's one thing about insurance, that's a Washington term."
"I think we ...
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Who originally said...
"My greatest wish is that none of my children become lawyers."
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A redneck, a sheep, and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck. They
found themselves stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while,
they got into the habit of ...
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THE POINTS SYSTEM
For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is:
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do
something ...
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38 Reason's Why It's Great To Be A Woman
1.Free drinks.
2.Free dinners.
3.Free movies (you get the point).
4.You can hug your friend without wondering if she ...
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10 WORDS THAT DON'T EXIST, BUT SHOULD:
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
2. CARPERPETUATION ...
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# 8
A young man walks up and sits down at the bar.
"What can I get you?" the bartender inquires.
"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.
"6 shots?!? ...
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First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get ...
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You find out interesting things when you have sons, like... 1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep. 2.) If you spray ...
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A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy ...
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