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Anger Management

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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

Take five minutes and chuckle

Viewed 17 times
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...

Raunchy One Liners

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What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you. What's the ...

Redneck Luxuries

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Redneck Swimming Pool...
Pool Redneck Yacht... Yacht

Trivial knowledge

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Some Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School Or College: The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone. Coca Cola ...

Holiday Eating Tips

Viewed 8 times
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where ...

12 Rules for Life

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Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are: 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas. 2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct ...

Larry Walters, Lawn Chair Pilot

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Larry Walters is among the relatively few who have actually turned their dreams into reality. His story is true, though you may find it hard to believe.  Larry was a truck ...

Blonde joke (a short one)

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Q: What do you call a smart blonde? A: A golden retriever

Teenage Sex

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The mother of a 17-year-old  girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the family's status, she ...

Are you a prostitute or a software consultant...

Viewed 7 times
Are you a prostitute or a software consultant… 1. You work very odd hours. 2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy. 3. You are paid well

Quotes 2

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Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. -Robin Williams Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as ...

Final Exam - No Excuses

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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...

Things that sound dirty at Christmas...

Viewed 6 times
But aren't . . . I think your balls are hanging too low. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall. Santa's sack is really bulging! Did you get ...

Joke of the Day

Viewed 6 times
An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first ...

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

Viewed 6 times
1. If you are choking on an ice cube,  don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.  2. ...

Laws of Physics

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Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch, or you'll have  to pee. Law of the  Workshop: Any tool, when ...

25 Proverbs to a Healthier Life

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1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going ...

On Growing Grass

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Winterize your lawn, the big sign outside the garden store commanded. I've fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and watched a lot of it die anyway. Now I m supposed to ...

HOW TO COOK A TURKEY... Irish Style...

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HOW TO COOK A TURKEY Step 1 Go buy a turkey Step 2 Take a drink of whiskey (scotch) Step 3 Put turkey in the oven Step 4 Take another 2 drinks of whiskey Step 5 ...

Interpretation

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IT'S ALL IN THE INTERPRETATION WANTS AND NEEDS (wontz and nedz) n. female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and psychological longing one seeks to have ...

Hills of Virginia

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Two fellows from the hiills of Virginia were sitting around talking one afternoon. After a while the first fellow says to the second, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer ...

Divorce Settlement

Viewed 5 times
After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for his young secretary. His new girlfriend demanded that she wanted to live in the couple's multimillion dollar home, and since ...

Puns for Intellectuals

Viewed 5 times
1. Two vultures boarded a plane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess stops them and says "sorry sir, only one carrion per passenger." 2. NASA recently sent a ...

 

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