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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of
her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers
the window, and she says ...
Viewed 13 times
What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps
with everyone at the party except you.
What's the ...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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Redneck Swimming Pool...
Redneck Yacht...
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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...
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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...
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1. Your Houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the ...
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Dear recipient, Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender ...
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10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you
asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these
problems; my arthritis is acting up, my ...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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LETTER FROM A FARM KID, NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats ...
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1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going ...
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I read this article that said typical symptoms of stress are eating too
much, smoking too much, impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they
kidding? That is my idea of a ...
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At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry with the auto industry and
stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer ...
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MICROSOFT VIRGIN
Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three
Microsoft employees and still died a virgin?
Her first husband was in Training, and ...
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Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was ...
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Recently spotted on eBay...
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Some Important Theological Questions are Answered if we think of God as a Computer Programmer. Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life? A: He could, if he used the ...
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Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day ... There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of ...
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In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods...
1. On Sears hairdryer:
"Do ...
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Two peanuts walked into a bar. One was a salted.
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
A sandwich walks into a bar. ...
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Everyone say it with me:
1) I will NOT get bad luck, lose my friends, or lose my mailing lists if I
DON'T forward an email.
2) I will NOT hear any music or see a taco dog, ...
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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for ...
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