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Anger Management

Viewed 38 times
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

Tickle Me Elmo

Viewed 35 times
A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made "Tickle me Elmo dolls". It was Friday and almost quitting time and hurriedly the boss told her to report for ...

Lawyer Jokes

Viewed 28 times
The post office just recalled their newest stamps: they had pictures of lawyers on them...and the people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. How are an apple and a ...

Marketing

Viewed 24 times
Finally, a definition of Marketing that makes sense.... You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed." That's Direct Marketing. ...

Little Johnny (on sex)

Viewed 16 times
LITTLE JOHNNY ON SEX Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick in preparation of sex ...

Thought of the Day

Viewed 15 times
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything,  But they ...

Final Exam - No Excuses

Viewed 14 times
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...

Little Old Woman

Viewed 12 times
Defense Attorney: What is your age? Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you? Little Old Woman: ...

Raunchy One Liners

Viewed 12 times
What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you. What's the ...

If Bush get's elected, I'll leave the country...

Viewed 11 times
Ever wonder what happened to all those celebrities who promised to leave the country if George W. Bush was elected president? The original statements: Eddie Vedder - "I'm ...

James Bond walks into a bar...

Viewed 10 times
A very confident James Bond walks into the English bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a ...

How teaching math has evolved

Viewed 9 times
Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? Teaching Math in 1960: A logger ...

Reincarnation

Viewed 9 times
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You'll have to go back to ...

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

Viewed 8 times
1. Blaming your farts on me....not funny...not funny at all!  2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!  3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me ...

Take five minutes and chuckle

Viewed 8 times
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...

Redneck Luxuries

Viewed 8 times
Redneck Swimming Pool...
Pool Redneck Yacht... Yacht

You know you're a Floridian if...

Viewed 7 times
You know you're a Floridian if... Socks are only for bowling. You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes. A good parking place has ...

Things that sound dirty at Christmas...

Viewed 7 times
But aren't . . . I think your balls are hanging too low. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall. Santa's sack is really bulging! Did you get ...

A Good Pun Is Its Own Reward

Viewed 7 times
Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.  A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.  A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.  My wife really ...

First Choice

Viewed 7 times
The New Pope Ratzinger was not the first choice for Pope. As I understand it, Ratzinger was not the Cardinals first choice. Interestingly, they were considering Cardinal Hans ...

Stupid People

Viewed 7 times
They're everywhere. This one, according to today's New Haven Register, was observed in the Wallingford, CT post office: A man walks into the Wallingford post office, says that ...

Larry Walters, Lawn Chair Pilot

Viewed 7 times
Larry Walters is among the relatively few who have actually turned their dreams into reality. His story is true, though you may find it hard to believe.  Larry was a truck ...

Capitalism and Cows

Viewed 7 times
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN ...

 

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