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Barbie's letter to Santa

Viewed 16 times
Dear Santa:  Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid ...

Things you can't say with a Hallmark

Viewed 14 times
THINGS YOU CAN'T SAY WITH A HALLMARK "Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What the f_ck was I thinking" "Congratulations on your ...

Final Exam - No Excuses

Viewed 10 times
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...

Quick Thinking

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A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole ...

Caught!

Viewed 10 times
They were alone in the house. It was a cold, dark stormy night. The storm had come up quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump. She looked across the ...

Lawyer Jokes

Viewed 10 times
The post office just recalled their newest stamps: they had pictures of lawyers on them...and the people couldn't figure out which side to spit on. How are an apple and a ...

Lying

Viewed 10 times
Bill Clinton was walking along the White House fence when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group surrounded a dog. ...

Better with age

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Strange Therapy Sessions A couple, both age 76, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual ...

Capitalism and Cows

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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN ...

Summer BBQ Season

Viewed 9 times
After 6 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season.  Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime ...

Dog Fight

Viewed 9 times
If only it were this easy... Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would ...

Cowboy Logic

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There is no arguing with cowboy logic. A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote ...

Church Newspapers

Viewed 8 times
These are actual clippings from church newspapers. It's amazing what a little proof-reading would provide... National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the ...

How do you know...

Viewed 8 times
How do you know when you're REALLY ugly? Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed. What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom? Say, "Nice dick." How do ...

Frog

Viewed 8 times
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release ...

Confession 2

Viewed 8 times
A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says ...

Frankfurt

Viewed 8 times
The air traffic dispatchers in Frankfurt Germany are notorious for their lack of tolerance and patience. They act as if the pilot should know everything and should not request ...

An Elephant's Memory

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Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya, after graduating from Northwestern University, same place my dad went to school. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull ...

48 phrases we wish we could say at work

Viewed 7 times
1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again... 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for ...

Sam and Bessie

Viewed 7 times
An elderly Florida couple, Sam and Bessie, are vacationing in Las Vegas. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears ...

100 Years Ago

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It may be hard to believe how times have changed in the last 100 years. "100 Years Ago" The average life expectancy in the United States was forty-seven. Only 14 ...

Steve Allen

Viewed 7 times
Steve Allen, Renaissance Man: ...describing Allen as a comedian is like describing Leonardo da Vinci as a "painter." Like Leonardo, Alien is a Renaissance man. Besides being ...

Buddy learns a new trick...

Viewed 7 times
Ya know, just make up your own joke here...
buddy

 

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