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Jesus and the redneck

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The bartender was washing his glasses, when an elderly Irishman came in. With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, and ...

Little Johnny (1)

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One day, the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have ...

Final Exam - No Excuses

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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...

Speeding Ticket Stories

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GOOD: A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 10-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand ...

What you didn't learn in school

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For high school and college graduates, here is a list of 11 things they did not learn in school. In his book, Bill Gates talks about how feel-good, politically correct ...

Call Girl

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I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely, so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab. ...

Why Computers Crash

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Abort, Retry, Ignore? by: Anonymous Works Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor, ...

Quote (2)

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Who said "A sewer worker is like a brain surgeon. We're both specialists."

Santa's Little Helpers

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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
Santa's little helpers

Why dogs are better than wives

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1. The later you are, the more excited they are to see you. 2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs. 3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it. ...

Confused Woodpeckers

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A Mississippi woodpecker and a Texas woodpecker were in Mississippi arguing about which state had the toughest trees to peck. The Mississippi woodpecker said that they had a ...

Police Not Amused by Breakfast Prank

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Friday January 26 12:27 PM ET Police Not Amused by Breakfast Prank DALLAS (Reuters) - A police dispatcher who tasted something funny when she bit into a breakfast tortilla ...

Blonde Joke 11

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The police academy instructor was conducting an in-class survey, questioning three blonde female officers who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in ...

George W. Bush Quotes

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George W. Bush quotes: "Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it." "It's one thing about insurance, that's a Washington term." "I think we ...

Quote

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Who originally said... "My greatest wish is that none of my children become lawyers."

Hot Dog

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Hotdog

A redneck, a sheep, and a dog

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A redneck, a sheep, and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck. They found themselves stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while, they got into the habit of ...

The points system

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THE POINTS SYSTEM For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something ...

38 Reasons Why It's Great To Be A Woman

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38 Reason's Why It's Great To Be A Woman 1.Free drinks. 2.Free dinners. 3.Free movies (you get the point). 4.You can hug your friend without wondering if she ...

10 Words That Don't Exist, But Should

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10 WORDS THAT DON'T EXIST, BUT SHOULD: 1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. 2. CARPERPETUATION ...

Top Eight Sex Jokes

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# 8 A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" the bartender inquires. "I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man. "6 shots?!? ...

TO ALL THE KIDS BORN in the 50's

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First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.  They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get ...

Boys

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You find out interesting things when you have sons, like...   1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.   2.) If you spray ...

Haircut

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A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy ...

 

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