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DEAR Diary... For Christmas this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Since I know I need to get in shape I decided ...
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It was the first day of school for the kindergarten class; as the
teacher walked into the classroom, she notices something written on
the blackboard: "T T T 1 A"
She looks ...
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* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
* Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"
* Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
* Why is a ...
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A worried father confronted his daughter one night. "I don't like that
new boyfriend, he's rough and common and bloody stupid with it."
"Oh no, Daddy," the daughter replied, ...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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Note: The actual origins of this bit of history/folklore are still not
clear, but evidence suggests that the source may be Click and Clack: The
Tappet Brothers (a.k.a. Tom and ...
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A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her
husband's best friend. They make love for hours, and
afterwards, while they're just laying there, the phone rings. ...
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Thanksgiving Dinner
Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm
telling you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart
won't be coming, I've ...
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Larry Walters is among the relatively few who have actually turned their dreams into reality. His story is true, though you may find it hard to believe. Larry was a truck ...
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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...
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"19 Things That Took Me 50 Years To Learn" By Dave Barry
1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in ...
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Who wrote the Christmas song "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"?
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A blonde was driving home after work, and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a
repair shop. The shop owner saw ...
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A Scottish old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, says to a young man, "Lad, look
out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I
built that fence stone by ...
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Dear Santa: Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid ...
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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If ...
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They were alone in the house. It was a cold, dark stormy night. The
storm had come up quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched
her jump.
She looked across the ...
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All stessed out?
Sometimes it helps to think of happy scenes. Maybe a pastoral field, a
field with a babbling brook.
You're there on a lovely summer's day......holding ...
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One Monday morning, Little Johnny's kindergarten
teacher, Miss Needlemeyer, decided to have a special
show-and-tell session in which each child could tell about
something ...
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Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take
a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin victim,
Resusci-Annie, to practice. Typical ...
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TEQUILA CHRISTMAS CAKE 1 cup water 1 tsp. baking soda 1 cup sugar 1 tsp. salt 1 cup of brown sugar Lemon juice 4 large eggs Nuts 1 bottle tequila 2 cups dried fruit Sample the ...
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LETTER FROM A FARM KID, NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats ...
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