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Anger Management

Viewed 21 times
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...

Capitalism and Cows

Viewed 18 times
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN ...

The Book of Leviticus

Viewed 15 times
Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that homosexuality is an abomination according to ...

Take five minutes and chuckle

Viewed 13 times
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...

Raunchy One Liners

Viewed 13 times
What's the difference between a bitch and a whore? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you. What's the ...

Quote of the Week (with picture)

Viewed 10 times
"Remember your army loves you" - Sergeant Diaz of the Colombian Army (no first name given), during the debut of the new Colombian Army's new mascot, a large inflatable ...

Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans

Viewed 9 times
1. Blaming your farts on me....not funny...not funny at all!  2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!  3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me ...

Joke of the Day

Viewed 9 times
An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first ...

Things that sound dirty at Christmas...

Viewed 8 times
But aren't . . . I think your balls are hanging too low. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall. Santa's sack is really bulging! Did you get ...

Santa's Little Helpers

Viewed 8 times
I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
Santa's little helpers

Final Exam - No Excuses

Viewed 6 times
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...

Apple Computer Announcement

Viewed 6 times
Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The i-Tit will cost $499 or $599 ...

Redneck Horseshoes

Viewed 6 times
redneck horseshoes

The Doctor's Office

Viewed 5 times
They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...

An Elephant's Memory

Viewed 5 times
Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya, after graduating from Northwestern University, same place my dad went to school. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull ...

Vatican Bathroom

Viewed 5 times
Fathers Pietro and George are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals.  Father Pietro looks at the other priest's equipment and notices there's a Nicoderm patch on the ...

Christmas Songs

Viewed 5 times
Who wrote the Christmas song "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"?

Larry Walters, Lawn Chair Pilot

Viewed 5 times
Larry Walters is among the relatively few who have actually turned their dreams into reality. His story is true, though you may find it hard to believe.  Larry was a truck ...

Mental Health Hotline

Viewed 5 times
Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline... If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If ...

Dogs and Cats

Viewed 5 times
WHAT IS A CAT ? 1) Cats do what they want 2) They rarely listen to you 3) They're totally unpredictable 4) They whine when they are not happy 5) When you want to ...

What does a soul mean when it says 'Abort Retry Ignore Fail'

Viewed 5 times
Yes, but it's common knowledge that Bill forfeited his soul to Satan to get where he is today. Well, that's the short story. Bill actually forfeited his soul simply for the ...

 

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