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Little Johnny (in love)

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The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so ...

Quote

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A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism. - Carl Sagan

Redneck Limo

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Recently spotted on eBay...
redneck limo

New Element Discovered

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An Interesting Discovery. Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium  (symbol=Gv), has one ...

Santa's Little Helpers

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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
Santa's little helpers

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly

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A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" She asked. "Hunting Flies." He responded. "Oh. Killing ...

Life's Mathematics

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Life`s Mathematics  ROMANCE MATHEMATICS  Smart man + smart woman = romance  Smart man + dumb woman = affair  Dumb man + smart woman = marriage  Dumb man + dumb woman = ...

Quote of the Day 3

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It's a good thing I was born a woman, or I'd have been a drag queen. - Dolly Parton

Blonde Joke 17

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A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind ...

Warnings That Should Be On Beer Labels

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Warnings That Should Be On Beer Labels 1. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. 2. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol ...

A Redneck Christmas

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The Doctor's Office

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They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse ...

Things that sound dirty at Christmas...

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But aren't . . . I think your balls are hanging too low. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall. Santa's sack is really bulging! Did you get ...

True bravery

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True bravery is a guy arriving home late after a boy's night out, being assaulted by his wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "You still cleaning, or are you gonna be ...

Redneck murders stump investigators

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Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder: 1.The DNA's all the same 2.There's no dental record

Golf on Christmas

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Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and without an argument go ...

Quote of the Week (with picture)

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"Remember your army loves you" - Sergeant Diaz of the Colombian Army (no first name given), during the debut of the new Colombian Army's new mascot, a large inflatable ...

Fairy Tales

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WOW.....if Disney only knew! CINDERELLA Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy ...

Football Season

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It's that Time of the Year! Three football fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and ...

FROM JESSE JACKSON

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Public Statement by the Rev. Jesse Jackson Due to the great consternation caused by the revelation of my act of procreation, I accept my obligation to give an explanation to ...

Computer Trouble

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Judy, the editor of trivia publication, was having trouble with her computer. So she called Dave, the computer guy, over to her desk. Dave clicked a couple of buttons and ...

If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer

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If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer... If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on ...

Little Johnny (misc)

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A traveling salesman rings the doorbell and 10-year-old Little Johnny answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little boy, is your mother home?" ...

A redneck, a sheep, and a dog

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A redneck, a sheep, and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck. They found themselves stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while, they got into the habit of ...

 

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