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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy in Opp , Alabama . He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New ...
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Who said "A sewer worker is like a brain surgeon. We're both specialists."
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"Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman"
1. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you
have had in the past.
2. Christmas trees don't get mad ...
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A pregnant Irish woman from Dublin is involved in a car accident and
falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes
up she sees that she is no longer ...
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Well, it is now the Christmas season, and I think
it is time for the twelve letters of Christmas...
Miss Agnes McHolstein
69 Cash Ave.
Beaver Valley, CO
Dec. 14, ...
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Dear recipient, Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender ...
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One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went ...
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A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know
what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The
4-year-old nods his head in ...
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THE STRESS DIET
This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up
during the day.
BREAKFAST
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim ...
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Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a
perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together
was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy ...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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Dear Santa: Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid ...
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Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight
safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that ...
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[The following question was originally posed by Steven Wright.]
Question: If you strapped a slice of buttered bread to the back of a cat, which way down would it land?
[Well, ...
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New Australian version of Windows...
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1. Your Houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the ...
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By an anonymous Trekkie. 10. Noisy doors. You can't walk three feet in a starship without some door whooshing or screeching at you. My office building has automatic sliding ...
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An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first ...
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From me ("the Wishor") to you (hereinafter called the "Wishee"): Please accept without obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially ...
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Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day an he done run outa night
crawlers. He be about reddy to leave when he seed a snake wit a big frog in
his mout. He knowed dat dem ...
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LETTER FROM A FARM KID, NOW AT SAN DIEGO MARINE CORPS RECRUIT DEPOT
Dear Ma and Pa:
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats ...
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Dr. Seuss on Aging
I cannot see
I cannot pee
I cannot chew
I cannot screw
Oh, my God, what can I do?
My memory shrinks
My hearing stinks
No sense of smell ...
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TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds
7. ...
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Do you ever feel overworked, over-regulated, under-leisured and under-benefited?
Take heart, this notice was found in the ruins of a London office building. It was
dated 1852: ...
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