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Larry Walters is among the relatively few who have actually turned their dreams into reality. His story is true, though you may find it hard to believe. Larry was a truck ...
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Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
A. Money
...
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Some Important Theological Questions are Answered if we think of God as a Computer Programmer. Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life? A: He could, if he used the ...
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A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior
culture.
The Greek said, "We have the Parthenon." The Italian said, "We have the
Coliseum."
...
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ARCHITECT: Defines someone who was neither macho enough to become an
engineer nor gay enough to become a designer.
BANKER: Someone who lends you his umbrella when the sun is ...
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Teaching Math in 1950:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?
Teaching Math in 1960:
A logger ...
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While, I was recovering from surgery and spending most of the day in bed, my seven year old son asked me why I didn't have a boyfriend. I told him the television was my boyfriend, ...
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( We take you now to the Oval Office... )
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: ...
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An old farmer named George went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl
asked "Sir, what is that on your shoulder?"
The old farmer said "That is my pet rooster, Chuckie. Where ...
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Your ass is never a factor in a job interview
Your orgasms are always real
Your last name stays put
The garage is all yours
Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow
...
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Actual tourist questions as complied by the Tampa Bay Convention &
Visitors Bureau...
- Is Sunday brunch only served on Sunday?
- My sister always wanted to come to ...
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Winterize your lawn, the big sign outside the garden store
commanded. I've fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and
watched a lot of it die anyway. Now I m supposed to ...
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It was the final examination for an introductory English course at the local university. Like many such freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 700 ...
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1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.
2. You need only two tools. WD-40 and duct tape. If it
doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and ...
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If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it will always be yours.
If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with.
But, if it sits in your living ...
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I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the ...
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My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year when we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, and my friends encouraged me. My girlfriend? She was a ...
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How Many Dogs/Cats Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole
lives ahead of us, and you're inside ...
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To my friends, thanks to you sending me urban legend chain letters in 2003:
I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing
toilet stains.
I ...
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A very confident James Bond walks into the English bar and takes a seat next
to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks
at his watch for a ...
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Nick the Dragon Slayer was an official in King Arthur's court. He had a
long-standing obsession with nuzzling the beautiful Queen's voluptuous
breasts, but he knew the penalty ...
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I don't usually links to other websites, but when I stumbled across this one
while wandering the outer fringes of the Internet, I knew I had to make an
exception...
(Be ...
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