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The Lineage Revealed: Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says "you don't know Jack Schitt". Now, You can handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe ...
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"My friend," said St. Peter to the recently deceased, "you did lead
an exemplary life on earth-but there is one instance of your taking
the name of The Lord in vain. Would you ...
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New Australian version of Windows...
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How Old Do You Feel?
To get an idea of the lives of those entering college this fall, read on......... and try not to laugh...............
1. The people who are starting ...
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WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN
"I'm going fishing."
Really means, "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand
by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by ...
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Who says aeronatuical engineers don't have a sense of humor.
Page 46 of Lockheed Martin's F-35 computer middleware presentation
* Theory is when you know everything and ...
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Damitol
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.
St. Mom's Wort
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers ...
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Queen Elizabeth's husband, Prince Philip, recently got into trouble for
telling a young boy he was too fat to be an astronaut. Here then are a
few other choice quotes from ...
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OB-GYN - Most Embarrassing Moment
This is a laugh for all those women out there (and the men who love
them) who so look forward to that wonderful time once a year when they ...
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The police academy instructor was conducting an in-class survey,
questioning three blonde female officers who were training to become
detectives. To test their skills in ...
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WHAT IS A CAT ?
1) Cats do what they want
2) They rarely listen to you
3) They're totally unpredictable
4) They whine when they are not happy
5) When you want to ...
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Little Timmy was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour
peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced
youngster was up to, he politely asked,
"What ...
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Here's a Riddle for You:
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
The ...
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Redneck Rules of Etiquette
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at ...
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A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance.
1. A dog
2. A ...
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Tips for Northerners moving South
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how
to use it.
2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or ...
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SEMINARS FOR FEMALES (prepared and presented by males)
1. Elementary Map Reading
2. Crying and Law Enforcement
3. Advanced Math Seminar: Programming Your VCR
4. You ...
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You can view all of the News of the Weird at http://www.newsoftheweird.com/
(We have removed actual News of the Weird items to avoid possible copyright infringement.)
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1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where ...
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Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day ... There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of ...
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Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht
oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the frist
and lsat ltteer is at ...
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In a trial, in a small SC town, a prosecuting attorney called his first
witness to the stand. She was sworn in, asked if she would tell the truth,
the whole truth and nothing ...
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According to a news report, a certain private school
in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem.
A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use
lipstick and ...
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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