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Friday January 26 12:27 PM ET
Police Not Amused by Breakfast Prank
DALLAS (Reuters) - A police dispatcher who tasted something funny when
she bit into a breakfast tortilla ...
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Tips for Northerners moving South
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how
to use it.
2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or ...
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by Joe, from reodorant.com Dogs make excellent pets. Notice how quick and efficient that sentence is? It totally conveys the "dogs are great pets" message that I was trying ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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If only it were this easy...
Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down
and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would ...
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife"
What type of bra?" asked the ...
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A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says
that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and ...
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Here's a Riddle for You:
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn't have one.
The Pope has one but doesn't use it.
The ...
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Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, "Bless me Father for I
have sinned. I have been with a loose woman." The priest says, "Is
that you, Tommy?" "Yes, Father, it is I." ...
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You can view all of the News of the Weird at http://www.newsoftheweird.com/
(We have removed actual News of the Weird items to avoid possible copyright infringement.)
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1. Your Houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the ...
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Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The i-Tit will cost $499 or $599 ...
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Merry Christmas...
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One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went ...
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Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. ...
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Two fellows from the hiills of Virginia were sitting around talking one afternoon. After a while the first fellow says to the second, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer ...
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A woman went to the Doctor's office, where she was seen by one of the
new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she
burst out, screaming as she ran down ...
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A gastroenterologist/proctologist claims that these are actual comments made
by his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly ...
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What a difference 30 years makes:
1972: Long hair
2002: Longing for hair
1972: The perfect high
2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund
1972: KEG
2002: EKG
...
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GOOD:
A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but
wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 10-year-old boy
was standing up the road with a hand ...
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A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to
Chicago.
The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and
asked, "If big dogs ...
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Ever wonder why ABCDEF are used to define bra sizes?
A - Almost Boobs
B - Barely there
C - Could do with a little more
D - Damn good
DD - Damn - Double Delight
E ...
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