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Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet. -Robin Williams
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as ...
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The Amish and Elevators...
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by
almost everything they saw, but especially two shiny, silver walls in the ...
Viewed 7 times
"Rudolph the Reindeer with an Inner Ear Infection" "Away in a Drunk Tank" "Here We Come A-Wassailing, Whatever the Hell That Means" "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Infected" ...
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A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the ...
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"Remember your army loves you"
- Sergeant Diaz of the Colombian Army (no first name given), during the
debut of the new Colombian Army's new mascot, a large inflatable ...
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70-year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results.
Dr. Smith said, "George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing ...
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YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN OUT OF COLLEGE TOO LONG WHEN....
* Your potted plants stay alive.
* Having sex in a twin sized bed is absurd.
* You keep more food than beer in the ...
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Stefan and Grandpa: Stefan and his grandfather are fishing. Granddad
pulls out a beer and the little boy says "Grandpa, can I have one of
those?" Grandpa says "Is your penis ...
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How Many Dogs/Cats Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole
lives ahead of us, and you're inside ...
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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30 Things Never to Say to a Naked Man
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, it's cute.
3. Why don't we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix ...
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This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orders a Grape Nehi.
Surprised, the bartender looks around and says
"You ain't from around here... where you from, boy?".
The ...
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Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
A. Money
...
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and the moral of the story is.....
One day at the end of class little Johnny's teacher has the class go home and think of story and then conclude with the moral of that story. ...
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Exercise program for Those Of Us Getting On in Years.
I thought I would let you in on a little secret I've found
for building arm and shoulder muscles. You might wish to adopt ...
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"Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!"
"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."
"I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style."
"This'll jar your ...
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1. Blaming your farts on me....not funny...not funny at all! 2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT! 3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me ...
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Mother Superior calls all the nuns together and says to them, "I must tell
you something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent."
"Thank goodness," says an elderly nun at ...
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I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in
front of a pickup truck. The guy had to drive on to the shoulder to avoid
hitting the woman. This ...
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A woman is driving toward home in Northern Arizona when she sees a Navajo
woman hitchhiking. Because the trip had been long and quiet, she stops the
car and the Navajo woman ...
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Who says aeronatuical engineers don't have a sense of humor.
Page 46 of Lockheed Martin's F-35 computer middleware presentation
* Theory is when you know everything and ...
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Who said "A sewer worker is like a brain surgeon. We're both specialists."
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