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Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the Other
and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home After
we've been out drinking, ...
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A man left work one Friday afternoon. But it was payday, so instead of going
home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending
his entire paycheck. ...
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* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
* Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"
* Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
* Why is a ...
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Winners of a New York Magazine contest who were asked to take a
well known expression in a foreign language, change a single letter
and provide a definition for the new ...
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In the seventh century, Queen Etheldrida of Northumbria developed a throat tumor, which she regarded as divine punishment for her life of extravagance. Before her death, she ...
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A traveling salesman rings the doorbell and 10-year-old Little Johnny
answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little
boy, is your mother home?"
...
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For high school and college graduates, here is a list of 11 things they did
not learn in school. In his book, Bill Gates talks about how feel-good,
politically correct ...
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A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Alabama recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leaving a cove well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, ...
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From a State Trooper in Garland, TX: Friends, My wife Toni is fond of saying that my last words on this earth will be something akin to, "Hey y'all, hold my beer and watch ...
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The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
I'd rather die living than live dying.
In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your ...
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Into an Irish pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over
by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and
bruised and he's walking ...
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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What a difference 30 years makes:
1972: Long hair
2002: Longing for hair
1972: The perfect high
2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund
1972: KEG
2002: EKG
...
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In a survey, 80 percent of women thought their ass was too fat,
15 percent said their ass was too thin,
and the other five percent said they didn't care - they would have ...
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A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and ...
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Dearest Redneck Son,
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We
don't live where we did when you left home. Your Dad read
in the newspaper that most ...
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A blonde dials 911 to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering ...
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When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area ...
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A young couple, just married, was in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband who was a big burly man tossed his pants to his ...
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WONDER HOW YOU EVER GOT ALONG WITHOUT KNOWING THIS ??
Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.
Pearls melt in vinegar.
It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather ...
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THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE
AGE DRINK
17 beer
25 bourbon
35 vodka
48 double vodka
66 Maalox
AGE SEDUCTION LINE
17
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