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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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But aren't . . . I think your balls are hanging too low. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall. Santa's sack is really bulging! Did you get ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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Some Important Theological Questions are Answered if we think of God as a Computer Programmer. Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life? A: He could, if he used the ...
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The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin ...
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Here's a one-question IQ Test to help you decide how you should spend the rest of your day ... There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of ...
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Don't really know much about this clip. But the dog's name is Tyson. And he's very cool.
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I usually don't forward these little heart warmers, but thought this one is worth reading.
This is truly a heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little girl and ...
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It's "Let's pick on men instead of blondes" time...
What do you call a handcuffed man?............Trustworthy.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath ...
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Ethel and Mabel, two elderly widows, were watching the folks go by from their park bench. Ethel said, "You know, Mabel, I've been reading this 'Sex and Marriage' book and all they ...
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Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The i-Tit will cost $499 or $599 ...
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A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the ...
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The following pseudo-mathematical proof was posted to rec.games.board:
What about this:
We know that women like two things, your time and your money,
therefore...
women ...
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20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the ...
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An Interesting Discovery. Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one ...
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Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya, after graduating from Northwestern University, same place my dad went to school. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull ...
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"Rudolph the Reindeer with an Inner Ear Infection" "Away in a Drunk Tank" "Here We Come A-Wassailing, Whatever the Hell That Means" "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Infected" ...
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Merry Christmas...
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GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either
with us or ...
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans.
Bean = vegetable.
Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar BEETS.
Both of them are plants, in the vegetable category.
Thus, ...
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My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you
happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it
all over the doorknobs. ...
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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for ...
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