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Spots

Viewed 35 times

Sex

Viewed 25 times
SOCIAL SECURITY SEX: So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, I get a little each month, but not ...

Microsoft Windaz 2000

Viewed 23 times
New Australian version of Windows...
Aussie Windaz 2000

Pants

Viewed 22 times
A young couple, just married, was in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband who was a big burly man tossed his pants to his ...

25 Ways To Tell You're Grown Up

Viewed 21 times
1.  Your Houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2.  Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3.  You keep more food than beer in the ...

Santa's Little Helpers

Viewed 21 times
I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
Santa's little helpers

Cat Carrier

Viewed 21 times
Cat Carrier

10 things I hate about Star Trek

Viewed 19 times
By an anonymous Trekkie.  10. Noisy doors.  You can't walk three feet in a starship without some door whooshing or screeching at you. My office building has automatic sliding ...

Why?

Viewed 18 times
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Why ...

Some of My Favorite Christmas Carols...

Viewed 16 times
"Rudolph the Reindeer with an Inner Ear Infection"  "Away in a Drunk Tank"  "Here We Come A-Wassailing, Whatever the Hell That Means"  "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Infected"  ...

If...

Viewed 16 times
If you take an Oriental man and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? ...

Things that sound dirty at Christmas...

Viewed 15 times
But aren't . . . I think your balls are hanging too low. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall. Santa's sack is really bulging! Did you get ...

New Element Discovered

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An Interesting Discovery. Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium  (symbol=Gv), has one ...

Joke of the Day

Viewed 14 times
An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first ...

Final Exam - No Excuses

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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...

It takes an Italian Man to make a Woman feel like a Woman...

Viewed 13 times
On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in ...

An Elephant's Memory

Viewed 13 times
Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya, after graduating from Northwestern University, same place my dad went to school. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull ...

Take five minutes and chuckle

Viewed 12 times
Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...

100 Reasons It's better to be a Guy

Viewed 12 times
1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about cars. 4. A five day vacation requires only one ...

You know you're a Floridian if...

Viewed 11 times
You know you're a Floridian if... Socks are only for bowling. You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes. A good parking place has ...

Material Success

Viewed 11 times
The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin ...

Summer BBQ Season

Viewed 11 times
After 6 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season.  Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime ...

12 Rules for Life

Viewed 11 times
Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are: 1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas. 2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct ...

25 Proverbs to a Healthier Life

Viewed 11 times
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going ...

 

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