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Alaska Accident

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The day after losing his wife in a diving accident, a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers. "We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. ...

TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA

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TOP 10 MARKETING SLOGANS FOR VIAGRA: 10. Viagra, The quicker dicker upper 9. Viagra, One-a-day, like iron 8. Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there ...

Useful Work Phrases

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How about never? Is never good for you? I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change ...

The True Definition of Globalization

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Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer: Princess Diana's death. Question: How come? Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend ...

Kids Say... (part 2)

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A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. ...

The Amish and Elevators

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The Amish and Elevators... An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially two shiny, silver walls in the ...

Spoiled food

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HOW TO TELL WHEN YOUR FOOD IS SPOILED ====================================== Whether you are a mom who cooks for many, a bachelor who cooks on rare occasions for himself, ...

20 reasons why chocolate is better than sex

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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX: 1) You can GET chocolate. 2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate. 3) Chocolate ...

Penguin

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A penguin is taking a trip when his car suddenly breaks down. Luckily for him, he finds himself just down the street from a mechanic. So he pushes his BMW to the shop and asks ...

God as a Computer Programmer

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Some Important Theological Questions are Answered if we think of God as a Computer Programmer.  Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life? A: He could, if he used the ...

Quick One 2

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Mother Superior calls all the nuns together and says to them, "I must tell you something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent." "Thank goodness," says an elderly nun at ...

Cheers

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Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk Indubitably Innovative Preliminary Proliferation Cinnamon Things that are very difficult to say when you're ...

Husband Jokes

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My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. ...

Evil Math

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The following pseudo-mathematical proof was posted to rec.games.board: What about this: We know that women like two things, your time and your money, therefore... women ...

Police Not Amused by Breakfast Prank

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Friday January 26 12:27 PM ET Police Not Amused by Breakfast Prank DALLAS (Reuters) - A police dispatcher who tasted something funny when she bit into a breakfast tortilla ...

No arms and no legs

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A man with no arms and no legs is out lying on the beach one day, enjoying his chance to get some sun. All of a sudden, a beautiful woman walks by and stops. "You poor man," ...

Lock your doors

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A local man was found murdered in his home this weekend. Detectives at the scene found this man face down in his bath tub. The tub had been filled with milk and corn flakes, ...

Computer Trouble

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Judy, the editor of trivia publication, was having trouble with her computer. So she called Dave, the computer guy, over to her desk. Dave clicked a couple of buttons and ...

George W. Bush Quotes

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George W. Bush quotes: "Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it." "It's one thing about insurance, that's a Washington term." "I think we ...

Tawdry

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In the seventh century, Queen Etheldrida of Northumbria developed a throat tumor, which she regarded as divine punishment for her life of extravagance. Before her death, she ...

Management Lesson No. 1

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Lesson Number One A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The ...

A redneck, a sheep, and a dog

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A redneck, a sheep, and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck. They found themselves stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while, they got into the habit of ...

A nun gets into a cab...

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A nun gets into a cab and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend ...

Logic

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IS THAT LOGICAL? Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first goes in to see the counselor, ...

 

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