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Bill of Rights

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Bill of Rights restated State Representative Mitchell Kaye of Georgia wrote the following: We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get ...

A man was crossing a road one day...

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A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his ...

The Book of Leviticus

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Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that homosexuality is an abomination according to ...

Cowboy Logic

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There is no arguing with cowboy logic. A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote ...

Sick Joke

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A drunk goes into a bar. He is very, very drunk - can hardly stand up. He slurs his way up to the bar and says: "Hey, bartender! Gimme a martini!" "No, no," says the ...

Martha Stewart's Way

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Martha's way #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. The Real Women's Way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom ...

Hollywood Squares 2

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Here are some quotes from Hollywood Squares Game Show in the 70's, when game show's responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are now. God bless Paul Lynde, Rose ...

Labor pain

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A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby deliavered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the ...

New Element Discovered

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An Interesting Discovery. Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium  (symbol=Gv), has one ...

10 things I hate about Star Trek

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By an anonymous Trekkie.  10. Noisy doors.  You can't walk three feet in a starship without some door whooshing or screeching at you. My office building has automatic sliding ...

Monkey, Lizard, and a Crocodile

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A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, ...

Inner Peace

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I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have ...

Telephone Problem

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An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog ...

Santa's Little Helpers

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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
Santa's little helpers

Farmer's donkey fell down a well (updated ending)

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One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old, and ...

Man Bakes Fireworks, Blows Up Kitchen

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Thursday July 5 1:43 PM ET Missouri Man Bakes Fireworks, Blows Up Kitchen KANSAS CITY, Mo. (Reuters) - Fireworks hidden in a Kansas City man's oven turned out to be a ...

Top 15 Women's T-shirt Slogans

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Top 15 Women's T-shirt Slogans: 1. Next mood swing: 6 minutes. 2. I hate everybody, and you're next. 3. And your point is...? 4. I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ...

True Story

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True story - Neil Armstrong Truth is stranger than fiction When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, not only gave his famous "one small step ...

Pontiacs and Vanilla Ice Cream

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A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors: "This is the second time I have written you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I kind of ...

10 Words That Don't Exist, But Should

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10 WORDS THAT DON'T EXIST, BUT SHOULD: 1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. 2. CARPERPETUATION ...

Tips for Northerners moving South

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Tips for Northerners moving South 1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it. 2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or ...

Alligator

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A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's ...

Drinking on the Job

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Drinking on the Job While most companies refrain from allowing consumption of alcohol on the premises, there are some good arguments for changing that policy. Reasons for ...

As We Age

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Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. Without thinking she simply replied, "No peer ...

 

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