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THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERNER SAY:
Duct Tape won't fix that.
Wrasslin's fake.
No kids in the back of the pickup, it's not safe.
Lisa Marie was lucky to ...
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The problem with some people is that when they aren`t drunk, they`re sober. -William Butler Yeats An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with ...
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Have you ever wondered where the phrase "You gotta be sh*ttin' me" came from? Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of the USA.
Way back, George ...
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A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV,
and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts."
She looked a little puzzled, but ...
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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If ...
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Adult One Liners
Q: What do a Christmas tree and priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?
A: What ...
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A traveling salesman rings the doorbell and 10-year-old Little Johnny
answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little
boy, is your mother home?"
...
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Phases of Life for an IT Professional Phase 1: As a Junior Programmer you're in awe of how smart your superiors and colleagues are. Phase 2: As a Mid-level Programmer you ...
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These are things people actually said in court, word for word:
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Eve
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When you get ads in your phone or utility bill, include them with the payment. Let them throw it away.
When you get those pre approved letters in the mail for everything from ...
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On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in ...
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Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya, after graduating from Northwestern University, same place my dad went to school. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull ...
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As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that ...
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But aren't . . . I think your balls are hanging too low. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall. Santa's sack is really bulging! Did you get ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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Don't really know much about this clip. But the dog's name is Tyson. And he's very cool.
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A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the exhibits is that of breeding
bulls.
They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, "This bull
mated 50 times ...
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MessageContributed by: Deborah Twonames
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of
Tampax and proceeded to the check-out counter.
The man at the ...
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Who wrote the Christmas song "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year"?
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A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know
what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The
4-year-old nods his head in ...
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After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the
mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need
repair or correction. The ...
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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for ...
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Stevie Wonder was one of the performers at this year's Presidential Gala at
Ford's Theater. Evidently George W. Bush is a big fan. The Washington Post
reported that President ...
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Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everett Sanchez tried
to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving
once again that beer ...
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