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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If ...
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The post office just recalled their newest stamps:
they had pictures of lawyers on them...and the people couldn't figure
out which side to spit on.
How are an apple and a ...
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Michael Jackson describes his September 11th experience in the March issue of Vibe... "I was in New York (after performing at Madison Square Garden on Sept. 7 and 10), and I got ...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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LITTLE JOHNNY ON SEX
Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him sitting
on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick in preparation of sex ...
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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Frequently Asked Questions
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by Curtis Wiggins Golf Ball + Tennis Racquet + Indoor Hallway = Awesome! No toilet paper, no paper towels... got coffee filters? You can make pizza with Bisquick and spaghetti. You ...
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When I was a child, I had a dream that I looked up at the stars, and in the stars I saw the answer. THE answer, the ultimate answer to everything. It was perfect, it was beautiful, ...
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by Curtis Wiggins Another musician dies at age 27. Another member of the so-called "27 Club". Is it coincidence, or is something deeper going on here? Shortly after ...
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Who provided the voice of Robin on TV's "Superfriends"?
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Four old timers were playing their weekly game of golf, and one remarked how
nice it would be to wake up on Christmas morning, roll out of bed and
without an argument go ...
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Happy Jan. 20th... Which is also known as...
Feast Day of St. Paula the Bearded
According to fourth-century legend, Paula was pursued by an enraptured youth into a church, ...
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Introducing Bobby Fairhope, Redneck
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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...
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... Yes, all of our animals have jobs, and compound nicknames. Phineas, the big dog, is known as Security-Dog. He was born a security dog. He takes great pride in ...
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Drake, our white, stub-tailed kitty, (aka Anger-Management-Kitty) apparently will abide no fightin in his establishment. He was lounging by the pool this morning while the ...
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by Curtis Wiggins I have a friend who is starting a new job soon. I just had a dream where I was concerned about whether or not he would like this new morning radio show we were ...
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The proper way to pronounce "Oklahoma" is ...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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It was the first day of school for the kindergarten class; as the
teacher walked into the classroom, she notices something written on
the blackboard: "T T T 1 A"
She looks ...
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SINGLE, BROWN, KANGAROO, VERY MALE, SEEKS SINGLE, FEMALE KANGAROO TO HOP AROUND, MAKE KANGAROO BABIES AND SHARE GREEN BUSHES. HOBBIES INCLUDE HOPPING, CHEWING ON GREEN STUFF AND ...
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