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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If ...
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The answer to the last question, for anyone left wondering...
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by Curtis Wiggins Golf Ball + Tennis Racquet + Indoor Hallway = Awesome! No toilet paper, no paper towels... got coffee filters? You can make pizza with Bisquick and spaghetti. You ...
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How many active volcanoes are in the United States?
(For the purposes of this question, count only volcanoes that are
"historically active", i.e. volcanoes that have a written ...
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When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy. ...
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by Curtis Wiggins Another musician dies at age 27. Another member of the so-called "27 Club". Is it coincidence, or is something deeper going on here? Shortly after ...
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Monday is Memorial Day, the day we honor the men and women who gave their lives in service to their country. This holiday began as a remembrance of the soldiers lost in the Civil ...
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A two-part question about VCR's:
1) When did Sony discontinue the Betamax VCR?
2) What company developed the VHS standard?
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by Curtis Wiggins This is a paraphrased recollection of an actual conversation I had with my mother when I was about four or five… Me: What’s an easter egg hunt? Mom: We take ...
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ARCHITECT: Defines someone who was neither macho enough to become an
engineer nor gay enough to become a designer.
BANKER: Someone who lends you his umbrella when the sun is ...
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With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00, there
is a better way when we get old &feeble.
I have ascertained that I can get a nice room at the Holiday ...
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1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when
I'm lying under the coffee table.
3. I will not roll my toys behind ...
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ALBERT EINSTEIN'S RIDDLE
ARE YOU IN THE TOP 2% OF INTELLIGENT PEOPLE IN THE WORLD?
SOLVE THE RIDDLE AND FIND OUT.
There are no tricks, just pure logic, so good luck and ...
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20 Useful Expressions for High-Stress Days
1. Well, aren't we just a ray of f_cking sunshine?
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. A hard-on doesn't ...
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A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a ...
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Two buddies were sitting at the bar in a singles' club
and talking about another guy who was sitting at the
other end of the bar.
"I don't get it," complained the first guy, ...
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Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya, after graduating from Northwestern University, same place my dad went to school. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull ...
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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy in Opp , Alabama . He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New ...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to the
mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need
repair or correction. The ...
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Strange Therapy Sessions
A couple, both age 76, went to a sex therapist's office. The
doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual ...
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What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps
with everyone at the party except you.
What's the ...
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... Yes, all of our animals have jobs, and compound nicknames. Phineas, the big dog, is known as Security-Dog. He was born a security dog. He takes great pride in ...
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Monday night (Labor Day), a storm blew through here. Typical Florida storm, but... In one instant there was a bright flash, and a really LOUD boom, and all the lights ...
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