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Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If ...
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1. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when
I'm lying under the coffee table.
3. I will not roll my toys behind ...
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TASTE TEST
A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first-graders using a bowl of Lifesavers. He gave all of the children the same kind of lifesaver, one at a ...
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Steve Allen, Renaissance Man:
...describing Allen as a comedian is like describing Leonardo da Vinci
as a "painter." Like Leonardo, Alien is a Renaissance man. Besides being ...
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Frequently Asked Questions
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The world was stunned by the news this morning of the death of the
Energizer Bunny. He was six years old. Authorities believe that the
death occurred at approximately 8:24 AM. ...
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The answer to the last question, for anyone left wondering...
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What happens when you mix one dead whale and half a ton of dynamite...
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What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps
with everyone at the party except you.
What's the ...
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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or ...
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Important information you should know about how we operate. Read this before posting anything on this site. (Posting constitutes agreement to these terms and conditions.)
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ALBERT EINSTEIN'S RIDDLE
ARE YOU IN THE TOP 2% OF INTELLIGENT PEOPLE IN THE WORLD?
SOLVE THE RIDDLE AND FIND OUT.
There are no tricks, just pure logic, so good luck and ...
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Watch as Stephen Colbert tries to keep it together... (from the Colbert Report)
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Personally identifiable information, including your name and e-mail address, is kept confidential. It will not be sold to, or shared with, other parties for any reason, unless required by law ...
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Alright, one more round of French-bashing (Francobashing?), then we
will move on to something else. -ed.
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without ...
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A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next
to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then
casually looks at his watch for a moment.
The ...
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100 FUN WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a ...
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20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the ...
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1. Your Houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the ...
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The Manbottle Library is now accepting advertising at very competitive rates. Viewership is approximately 250,000 page views per month.
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Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the Other
and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home After
we've been out drinking, ...
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As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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