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You know you're a Floridian if... Socks are only for bowling. You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes. A good parking place has ...
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This is not a vanity plate, just an unfortunate combination of letters and numbers...
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By an anonymous Trekkie. 10. Noisy doors. You can't walk three feet in a starship without some door whooshing or screeching at you. My office building has automatic sliding ...
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The answer to the last question, for anyone left wondering...
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by Curtis Wiggins
I swore to myself that I wasn't going to do this. I swore I would not write anything about John and Lorena Bobbett and their tendency to cut off body parts. ...
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... Yes, all of our animals have jobs, and compound nicknames. Phineas, the big dog, is known as Security-Dog. He was born a security dog. He takes great pride in ...
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As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that ...
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When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know...
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I suppose this explains why he's always so jolly...
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"Remember your army loves you"
- Sergeant Diaz of the Colombian Army (no first name given), during the
debut of the new Colombian Army's new mascot, a large inflatable ...
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The question recently came up about the start of the new millennium. I wasn't going to get into it, but someone asked. In short, the official answer is, it starts in 2001. However, ...
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by Curtis Wiggins Golf Ball + Tennis Racquet + Indoor Hallway = Awesome! No toilet paper, no paper towels... got coffee filters? You can make pizza with Bisquick and spaghetti. You ...
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by Curtis Wiggins For all my dear Christian friends who have made an annaul tradition of getting bent this time of year about the use of the term "X-mas", please kindly consider ...
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Monday is Memorial Day, the day we honor the men and women who gave their lives in service to their country. This holiday began as a remembrance of the soldiers lost in the Civil ...
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by Curtis Wiggins This is a paraphrased recollection of an actual conversation I had with my mother when I was about four or five… Me: What’s an easter egg hunt? Mom: We take ...
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On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in ...
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But aren't . . . I think your balls are hanging too low. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall. Santa's sack is really bulging! Did you get ...
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Dear recipient, Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender ...
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An idiot decided to start a chicken farm, so he bought a hundred chickens to start. A month later, he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first ...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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