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NOTICE FROM CARNIVAL CRUISE LINES:
Afghanistan Cruise
We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn't forget that a lot of entertainers had promised to leave the country if George W.Bush ...
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Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking. A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative. My wife really ...
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There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at Alley's
Grocery Store. I don't know what Junior's problem is, but the boys
like to tease him. They say he is two bricks ...
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1. Your potted plants are alive. And you can't smoke a single one of them.
2. Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
3. You keep more food than beer or wine in the fridge. ...
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1. Ahhh... I see the f_ck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for ...
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100 FUN WAYS TO PHONE IN A PIZZA ORDER
1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
2. Make up a ...
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20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the ...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate ...
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Just wanted to warn everyone there's a new virus
-code name is "Work." If you receive "Work" from
your colleagues, your boss, or any one else, do not
touch "Work" under any ...
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ALBERT EINSTEIN'S RIDDLE
ARE YOU IN THE TOP 2% OF INTELLIGENT PEOPLE IN THE WORLD?
SOLVE THE RIDDLE AND FIND OUT.
There are no tricks, just pure logic, so good luck and ...
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10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say:
10) "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
9) Duct tape won't fix that
8) Come to think of it I'll have a Heiniken's
...
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Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya, after graduating from Northwestern University, same place my dad went to school. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull ...
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A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy in Opp , Alabama . He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New ...
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The top 20 thinnest books
20. HOW TO LAND A PLANE AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD - by JFK, Jr.
19. HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN - by John Bobbit
18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. ...
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The Titanic, on her maiden voyage, just set sail from the shores of England.
It was the most magnificent ship ever built, and everybody is very excited. No expense has been ...
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This answers the age old question of why do we have to do it this way?
Origins of engineering specs and government decisions.
Ever wonder where engineering specifications ...
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They were alone in the house. It was a cold, dark stormy night. The
storm had come up quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched
her jump.
She looked across the ...
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A guy named Bill receives a free ticket to the SuperBowl from
his company.
Unfortunately, when Bill arrives at the stadium, he realizes the
seat is in the last row in the ...
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Sven was going for his morning walk one day when he walked past Ole's house and saw a sign that said, "Boat For Sale."
This confused Sven because he knew that Ole didn't own a ...
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A dictionary for software engineers:
Alpha: Software undergoes alpha testing as a first step in
getting user feedback. Alpha is Latin for "doesn't work."
Beta: Software ...
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After 6 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime ...
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Finally, a definition of Marketing that makes sense....
You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic
in bed." That's Direct Marketing.
...
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