Little Johnny (misc)
A traveling salesman rings the doorbell and 10-year-old Little Johnny
answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little
boy, is your mother home?"
Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What the f_ck do you
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"
"But that's right!" said the father.
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the f_cking difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to
learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?' Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me,
me!' Miss Rogers: "All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable
word?' Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.' Miss Rogers smiles and says,
'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.' Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers,
you're thinking of a blowjob".
Little Johnny has just been toilet trained and decides to use the big toilet
like his daddy. He pushes up the seat and balances his little penis on the
rim. Just then the toilet seat slams down, and Johnny lets out a scream.
His mother comes running to find Johnny hopping round the room clutching
his genitals and howling. He looks up at her with his little tear stained face
and sniffles, "K k k kiss (sniff) it better." Little Johnny's mother shouts,
"Don't start your father's shit with me!"