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Added 1/1/1990
A blonde goes to a restaurant, buys a coffee a sits down to drink it. She looks on the side of her cup and finds a peal off prize. She pull off the tab and yells, "I WON! I WON! I ...
Added 1/1/1990
Blonde Riding
A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs ...
Added 1/1/1990
A recent survey of boat owners revealed that only 13% of them would
go overboard to save their spouse. However 25% would go overboard
to save their hat.
Added 1/1/1990
A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at a table nearby... all alone. He calls the waiter over and ...
Added 1/1/1990
BUMPER STICKERS YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE
1. Jesus loves you... but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
2. Impotence... Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings."
3. The ...
Added 1/1/1990
Before the election, Bush was asked by Oprah Winfrey if he worried about what other people think of him. He replied...
"I care what 51 percent of the people think of me."
Added 1/1/1990
A woman's husband has been slipping in and out of a coma for
several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.
When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. ...
Added 1/1/1990
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM - You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the
income.
AN AMERICAN ...
Added 1/1/1990
[The following question was originally posed by Steven Wright.]
Question: If you strapped a slice of buttered bread to the back of a cat, which way down would it land?
[Well, ...
Added 1/1/1990
An old lady dies and goes to heaven and is chatting with St. Peter
at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful
blood-curdling screams.
"Don't worry ...
Added 1/1/1990
In the PC World, how does a chicken cross the road?
NT Chicken: Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.
OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ...
Added 1/1/1990
Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two Aspirin" and "Keep away from children."
You spend the ...
Added 1/1/1990
A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be ...
Added 1/1/1990
- Gifts for Children -
This is easy. You never have to figure out what to get for children, because they will tell you exactly what they want. They spend months and months ...
Added 1/1/1990
Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in
various church bulletins.
Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
Thursday night - Potluck ...
Added 1/1/1990
People were in their pews talking at church. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each ...
Added 1/1/1990
Comedians' Take on Election Events
By The Associated Press
"The Tonight Show with Jay Leno'':
"They had trucks in Florida bringing the ballots to Tallahassee. In fact, ...
Added 1/1/1990
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.
We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
- Anderson, Jeremy S.
If you put a billion monkeys in ...
Added 1/1/1990
Tommy goes into a confessional box and says, "Bless me Father for I
have sinned. I have been with a loose woman." The priest says, "Is
that you, Tommy?" "Yes, Father, it is I." ...
Added 1/1/1990
Brian was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. ...
Added 1/1/1990
A consultant dies and goes to heaven. He reaches the pearly
gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners
and chanting his name. After a few minutes St. Peter ...
Added 1/1/1990
In light of the times and with the market in the turmoil that it is, these mergers may not be too far fetched ...
1. XEROX and WURLITZER (They're going to make reproductive ...
Added 1/1/1990
There is no arguing with cowboy logic. A few years ago, the Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote ...
Added 1/1/1990
For all you lovers of good writing:
This year's winners of the Bulwer-Lytton contest, AKA Dark and Stormy Night Contest. These are the 10 winners of this year's Bulwer-Lytton ...
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