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Added 1/1/1990
S C I E N T I S T S D I S C O V E R N E W E L E M E N T
The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by university
physicists. The element, ...
Added 1/1/1990
It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
It is important that a man makes you laugh.
It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't ...
Added 1/1/1990
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, and he heard
a loud voice ask him, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have
anyone to talk to. Then ...
Added 1/1/1990
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve.
"So, how is everything going?" inquired God.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied, "the sunrises and ...
Added 1/1/1990
Reporters interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked.
Without thinking she simply replied, "No peer ...
Added 1/1/1990
At a nursing home in Florida, a group of Seniors
were sitting around talking about all their ailments.
"My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup
of coffee," ...
Added 1/1/1990
BACKSEAT DRIVER
A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer.
The following exchange takes place.... The man says, "What's
the problem officer?"
Officer: ...
Added 1/1/1990
A man is caught, by a forest ranger, sitting at a makeshift campfire, and to the ranger's horror, eating a bald eagle. The man is consequently put in jail for the crime. On the day ...
Added 1/1/1990
A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the ...
Added 1/1/1990
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The ...
Added 1/1/1990
From the Sydney Morning Herald in Australia comes this story of a couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car break down in the parking lot. The man told his wife ...
Added 1/1/1990
A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that ...
Added 1/1/1990
Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I ...
Added 1/1/1990
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: ...
Added 1/1/1990
Best Fruit Cake Ever
1 cup butter
1 tsp. salt
1 cup sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup dried fruit
nuts
1 tsp. baking powder
1
Added 1/1/1990
Bill and Hillary are out driving in the country near Hillary's hometown. They are low on fuel, so Bill pulls into a gas station for a fill-up. The attendant comes out and begins to ...
Added 1/1/1990
President Clinton looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approach him.
"What is it?" exclaims the President.
"It's the Abortion Bill, Mr. ...
Added 1/1/1990
Two blondes decide to rob a bank. the first blonde goes over their plan over and over to the other blonde.
They pull up in front of the bank in there getaway car and the first ...
Added 1/1/1990
A blonde goes into a restaurant and notices there's a "peel and win"
sticker on her coffee cup. So she peels it off and starts screaming,
"I've won a motorhome! I've won a ...
Added 1/1/1990
Two blondes are going to Disneyland. They were driving down the freeway and saw a sign that said "Disneyland left", so they turned around and went home.
Added 1/1/1990
This blonde walked into a store and after looking around says, "Can I please buy that TV?" The clerk says, "Sorry we don't serve blondes here."
The next day she walked into the ...
Added 1/1/1990
A young, blonde woman had the windows in
her house replaced with new double insulated,
energy efficient windows.
Twelve months later she gets an irate call from
the ...
Added 1/1/1990
A ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a
small town. He's going through his usual run of "dumb blonde" jokes, when
a blonde woman in the 4th ...
Added 1/1/1990
It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was at zero when the little blond got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make ...
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