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Added 5/14/1998
Q. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A. Slow down and use a lubricant.
Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
A. Money
...
Added 5/13/1998
Top 15 best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk:
15. They told me at the blood bank this might happen.
14. This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they ...
Added 5/5/1998
DEEP THOUGHTS...
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Atheism is a nonprophet organization.
If ...
Added 5/4/1998
A man and his wife were driving their Recreational Vehicle across the country and were nearing a town spelled Kissimmee. They noted the strange spelling and tried to figure how to ...
Added 5/3/1998
A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance.
1. A dog
2. A ...
Added 5/2/1998
Two dwarfs decide to treat themselves to a vacation in Las Vegas. At the hotel bar, they're by two hookers,and wind up takind the to their separate rooms. The first dwarf is ...
Added 4/30/1998
These are not DARWIN Award Winners, but they are pretty close...
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he
lacked "intellectual leadership". He received a ...
Added 4/30/1998
Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to
some tracks. The first blond said "These look like deer tracks,"
and the other one said, "No, they look like moose ...
Added 4/29/1998
FELIX THE FLYING FROG, a Parable About Modern Management
Once upon a time, there lived a man named Clarence who had a pet
frog named Felix. Clarence lived a modestly ...
Added 4/28/1998
COMPUTER PROVERBS
1. Home is where you hang you're @.
2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single ...
Added 4/28/1998
SPAM HAIKUS
1.
Blue can of steel
What promise do you hold?
Salt flesh so ripe
2.
Can of metal, slick
Soft center, so cool, moistening
I yearn for your ...
Added 4/27/1998
TEMPERATURE OF HELL
This is forwarded from a graduate of the University of Oklahoma School of
Chemical Engineering Dept. Citing one of Dr. Schlambaugh's final test
questions ...
Added 4/25/1998
21 Very Short Books
1) A Guide to Arab Democracies
2) A Journey through the Mind of Dennis Rodman
3) Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean
4) Career ...
Added 4/21/1998
10 WORDS THAT DON'T EXIST, BUT SHOULD:
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
2. CARPERPETUATION ...
Added 4/21/1998
OXYMORON LIST (April 1998)
(Oxymoron - - an epigrammatic witty, often paradoxical effect, by which contradictory terms are used in conjunction)
50. Act naturally
49. Found ...
Added 4/20/1998
REMEMBER WHEN....
A computer was something on TV
from a science fiction show.
A window was something you hated to clean
and RAM was the cousin of a goat.
MEG was ...
Added 4/19/1998
Two men are in a locker room. One notices the other has a cork in
his rectum. He says, "How'd you get a cork in you rectum?"
"I was walking along the beach and I tripped over ...
Added 4/17/1998
IMAGINE IF INSTEAD OF CRYPTIC, GEEKY TEXT STRINGS,
YOUR COMPUTER PRODUCED ERROR MESSAGES IN HAIKU...
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
- ...
Added 4/17/1998
Please ready the following survey titled "Are you a Man?"...
1. In the company of feminists, coitus should be referred to as:
a) lovemaking
b) screwing
c) the pigskin ...
Added 4/16/1998
Jesus joined a threesome on the first hole. The drive had to be hit
over two small lakes to reach a green surrounded by sandtraps.
Jesus said "OK, I'll do this one. If Palmer ...
Added 4/16/1998
"My friend," said St. Peter to the recently deceased, "you did lead
an exemplary life on earth-but there is one instance of your taking
the name of The Lord in vain. Would you ...
Added 4/16/1998
A man asks his wife the following questions after a long discussion
about her life if he were to die before her.
Husband: "Honey, if I were to die before you, would you ...
Added 4/16/1998
Jesus, Moses and God were out playing golf one day. Jesus teed
off first, and the ball flew straight over the fairway, landed in the
green and rolled to within a couple feet of ...
Added 4/15/1998
A foursome was on the last hole and when the last golfer drove off the tee he hooked into a cow pasture. He advised his friends to play through and he would meet them at the ...
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