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Added 3/23/1999
A recent Cincinnati Inquirer headline read, "Smell of baked bread may be health hazard." The article went on to describe the dangers of the smell of baking bread. The main danger, ...
Added 3/23/1999
A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said. "I'd like to buy a bra ...
Added 3/15/1999
The world was stunned by the news this morning of the death of the
Energizer Bunny. He was six years old. Authorities believe that the
death occurred at approximately 8:24 AM. ...
Added 3/14/1999
In a crowded city, at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful young woman was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini-skirt with matching leather boots and jacket. ...
Added 3/13/1999
All babies start out with the same number of raw cells which,
over nine months, develop into a complete female baby. The problem
occurs when cells are instructed by the little ...
Added 3/11/1999
HOW TO BE A MORON IN AMERICA
Latest Entries in the Moron Award Sweepstakes.
Not quite stupid enough for the Darwin awards, but they are working on
it.
A man walked into a ...
Added 3/9/1999
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers
stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign
on the door saying
"NERDS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR ...
Added 3/4/1999
Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a
pleasant little picnic by the River Seine. It's a beautiful day and love is
in the air. Marie leans ...
Added 3/3/1999
WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and
while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick ...
Added 3/3/1999
What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps
with everyone at the party except you.
What's the ...
Added 3/2/1999
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow
isn't looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as ...
Added 2/28/1999
Recently a Ft. Lauderdale advertising agency launched a billboard campaign (including the inside and outside of buses) that included 17 different messages from God. This ...
Added 2/25/1999
"SMOKING KILLS. AND IF YOU'RE KILLED, YOU'VE LOST A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR LIFE."
Brooke Shields
"THE PRESIDENT HAS KEPT ALL OF THE PROMISES HE INTENDED TO KEEP."
...
Added 2/24/1999
A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices ...
Added 2/21/1999
A man is driving down a deserted highway, and notices a sign that reads..
SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 10 MILES
He thinks it was a figment of his imagination - ...
Added 2/21/1999
Top ten reasons God created Eve:
10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in
the garden because men hate to ask for directions.
9. God knew that Adam would one day ...
Added 2/20/1999
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their ...
Added 2/18/1999
Old and new concerns for people of the baby boom generation.
Then: Long hair.
Now: Longing for hair.
Then: Keg
Now: EKG.
Then: Acid rock
Now: Acid reflux. ...
Added 2/17/1999
Brilliant Bankrobber
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." on
the back of a ...
Added 2/14/1999
A teenager comes home from school with a writing assignment. He
asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between
potential and reality?"
His father ...
Added 2/12/1999
You know you work in corporate America in the 90's if:
1. You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
2. Your company welcome sign is ...
Added 2/11/1999
A boy and his date were parked on a back road some distance from
town, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from
town. Things were getting hot and heavy ...
Added 2/10/1999
As you are receiving my note by e-mail, it's wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.
Consider ...
Added 2/9/1999
A Redneck Valentine
Kudzu is green,
my dog's name is Blue
And I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk
A-flapping in the breeze. ...
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