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Added 2/22/2000
Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's
personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately,
they concurred on almost all counts. ...
Added 2/17/2000
How do you know when you're REALLY ugly?
Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.
What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
Say, "Nice dick."
How do ...
Added 2/15/2000
A man who reeked of alcohol flopped on a subway seat next to a
priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with
red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of rum was ...
Added 2/15/2000
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour
east of Bakersfield, California, a blonde (of course!!), new to boating
was having a problem. No matter ...
Added 2/15/2000
"The Bible shows us the way to go to Heaven, but not the way the heavens
go."
- Galileo Galilei (16th century astronomer)
Added 2/15/2000
1. They know stuff about guns.
2. A two week trip requires only one suitcase.
3. They can open all of their jars.
4. They can go to the bathroom without a support group. ...
Added 2/14/2000
A man and his wife were driving through country on his
way from New York to California.
Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the
next gasoline station and fill ...
Added 2/11/2000
"A philosopher sees the earth as a large planet, traveling through the
heavens, covered with fools"
- Bernard le Bovier de Fontenelle (17th century French philosopher)
Added 2/11/2000
Note: The actual origins of this bit of history/folklore are still not
clear, but evidence suggests that the source may be Click and Clack: The
Tappet Brothers (a.k.a. Tom and ...
Added 2/10/2000
THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE
AGE DRINK
17 beer
25 bourbon
35 vodka
48 double vodka
66 Maalox
AGE SEDUCTION LINE
17
Added 2/8/2000
For anyone who has ever gotten a speeding ticket...
This guy is flying down the road, and he comes over a bridge. Sure enough, a
cop with a radar gun is sitting on the other ...
Added 2/8/2000
A proud Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar,
announcing that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas
baby boy" weighing 20 pounds. WOW! (Congratulations ...
Added 2/7/2000
WORST FOURSOME IN GOLF
1. MONICA LEWINSKI
2. O.J. SIMPSON
3. TED KENNEDY
4. BILL CLINTON
WHY YOU ASK?
1. MONICA IS A HOOKER
2. O.J. IS A SLICER
3. TED ...
Added 2/6/2000
A husband and wife are in bed.
The husband asks for sex.
The wife says 'no.'
Her husband asks, "Is that your final answer?"
She responds, "Yes."
He says, "Then I'd ...
Added 2/3/2000
1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.
2. At least one of a pair of identical twins ...
Added 2/2/2000
Calling in Sick
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable because no matter how
legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying. On one
occasion I had a ...
Added 2/1/2000
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the
woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in
a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release ...
Added 2/1/2000
1. I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
2. Warning... I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
3. Of course I don't look busy. I did it right the first time.
4. Why ...
Added 1/31/2000
Monica Lewinsky (on CNN's Larry King Live discussing her miraculous
Jenny Craig weight-loss) :
"I've learned not to put things in my mouth that are bad for me."
Added 1/30/2000
Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating
ecological issues on the shores of an ...
Added 1/30/2000
A guy named Bill receives a free ticket to the SuperBowl from
his company.
Unfortunately, when Bill arrives at the stadium, he realizes the
seat is in the last row in the ...
Added 1/26/2000
HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL
1. Pick cat up and cradle gently in the crook of your left arm as if
holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of
cat's ...
Added 1/26/2000
Top Ten Things Men Understand about Women
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
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Added 1/22/2000
Christopher Reeve has a new job... He's selling accidental disability
insurance...
http://www.healthextras.com/
Feel free to make up your own jokes about possible other ...
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