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From a State Trooper in Garland, TX: Friends, My wife Toni is fond of saying that my last words on this earth will be something akin to, "Hey y'all, hold my beer and watch ...
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A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey "Hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "Smoking a joint, ...
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What is the band Steely Dan named after?
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Name three authors who have reached #1 on the New York Times best-seller
list, for both fiction and non-fiction?
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Who discovered the "80-20 Rule"?
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A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his
patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy Doc, you're ...
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Larry goes to see his travel agent. The conversation goes something like this...
"Hey Larry, going away on vacation again?"
"Yes, but I need to ask for something different." ...
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An old farmer in Georgia had owned a large farm for several years. He had a
large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts,
basketball court, etc. The ...
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The Washington Post published a contest for readers in which they were asked
to supply alternate meanings for various words. The following were some of
the winning entries:
...
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What Gender Is It?
ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can
always see right through them.
SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it appears ...
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Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans.
Bean = vegetable.
Sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar BEETS.
Both of them are plants, in the vegetable category.
Thus, ...
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It's the first day of school and the teacher thought she'd get to know the
kids by asking them their name and what their father does for a living.
The first little girl says: ...
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According to the British newspaper The Mirror, Susie Stephens, the world's leading expert on road safety, was recently in St. Louis coordinating a conference on, as one might ...
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NOTHING LIKE PULLING TOGETHER FOR THE COMMON GOOD!
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If Puerto Rico were ever to become the 51st state, the US flag would
need to be redesigned. How could 51 stars be arranged in a symmetrical
rectangular pattern for the new ...
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Winterize your lawn, the big sign outside the garden store
commanded. I've fed it, watered it, mowed it, raked it and
watched a lot of it die anyway. Now I m supposed to ...
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30 Signs You Are No Longer A Kid......
1.) You're asleep, but others worry that you're
dead.
2.) Your back goes out more than you do.
3.) You quit trying to hold your ...
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North and South
The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes
The South has 'mater samiches
The North has coffeehouses
The South has Waffle Houses
The North has dating ...
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Girl and boy are having a relationship of about four months now. One
Friday night they meet at a bar after work. They stay for a few, then go
on to get some food at a local ...
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Three couples, an elderly couple, a middle-aged couple and a young, newlywed
couple wanted to join a church. The pastor said, "We have special requirements
for new ...
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BATHROOM GRAFFITI:
"To some it's a six pack, to me it's a support group."
"The poor folks in Arkansas won't be celebrating Thanksgiving this year,
they sent their turkey to ...
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Dear Mom and Dad:
It has been four months since I left for college. I have been remiss in
writing and am very sorry for my thoughtlessness. I will bring you up to
date now, ...
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