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Warnings That Should Be On Beer Labels


Warnings That Should Be On Beer Labels

1. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

2. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an ass.

3. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

4. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

5. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 AM.

6. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.

7. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).

8. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead and knees.

9. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.

10. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

11. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing with you.

12. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to disappear.

13. WARNING: the consumption of alcohol may actually cause pregnancy.




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