You know you are overweight when...
- you launch your see-saw partner into the next county.
- it takes less water to fill the bath tub than it used to.
- the school plays Pomp and Circumference when you graduate.
- the airline pilot has to trim the aircraft for the side you sit on.
- Weight Watchers ask you to leave by the back door.
- Cal Tech scientists record an after shock each time you sit down.
- tires on your car go bald in 2000 miles.
- high heels become flats after their first day on your feet.
- neighbors invest in Crisco futures since you moved across the street.
- elevators stall frequently these days.
