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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road


Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?


PAT BUCHANAN:

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.


LOUIS FARRAKHAN:

The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.


THE BIBLE:

And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.


COLONEL SANDERS:

I missed one?


L.A. POLICE DEPARTMENT:

Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.


RICHARD M. NIXON:

The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.


JERRY SEINFELD:

Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"


OLIVER STONE:

The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" But is rather "Who was crossing the road at the same time, who we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"


DARWIN:

Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.


DR. SEUSS:

Did the chicken cross the road?

Did he cross it with a toad?

Yes! The chicken crossed the road,

But why it crossed, I've not been told!



ERNEST HEMINGWAY:

To die. In the rain.


MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.


GRANDPA:

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.


ARISTOTLE:

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.


KARL MARX:

It was an historical inevitability.


SADDAM HUSSAIN:

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.


RONALD REGAN:

What chicken?


CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.


FOX MULDER:

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?


MACHIAVELLI:

The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.


FREUD:

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. Does the phrase choke the chicken mean anything to you?


BUDDHA:

Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.


RALPH WALDO EMERSON:

The chicken did not cross the road - it transcended it.


BILL GATES:

I have just released Chicken Coop 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book - and Explorer is an inextricable part of the operating system.


EINSTEIN:

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?


BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by Chicken? Could you define chicken please?




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