The Manbottle Library  :  Humor  :  Three Morals

Three Morals

A while back, there were two kingdoms situated close by each other. One kingdom had a powerful king, and the other had a relatively weak king. The difference, or so everybody said, was that the powerful king had a magic throne, which had the property of making people powerful.

Well, the weak king wanted this throne, so he had a trusted count get up an army (knights, pages, etc.) to fetch it. The army trudged along for a day or two and came upon the powerful king's castle. The castle entrance was guarded by a huge yellow monster with huge yellow hands. The army, being an army and all, attacked! Alas, the huge yellow monster ate them all, except for two pages who did not engage in the fight.

The pages, being very frightened, hid until nightfall. When night came along, the pages peeked from their hiding place and saw that the monster was asleep. The only thing guarding the entrance now was the monster's huge hand draped in front of the opening. The pages, being only eight years old and all, were able to squeeze through the fingers and gain entrance into the castle.

MORAL 1: Let your pages do the walking through the yellow fingers.

Once inside the castle, the pages had no trouble finding the throne. Combined, they were just strong enough to lift it, and were able to carry it out of the castle. The huge yellow monster gave them no further trouble, since they had the throne and everything.

After having walked half the night with the heavy throne between them, they were very tired and stopped at a grass house to rest. The farmer who lived there, wanting to steal the throne for himself, let them spend the night in the barn. At the farmer's suggestion, the throne was "hid" in the attic.

Some hours later, the farmer crept into his barn and killed the pages. Pleased with himself, the farmer went back to bed. A few minutes later, the throne crashed through the ceiling, crushing and killing the farmer and his wife.

MORAL 2: People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

When the powerful king found his throne missing the next day, he ordered HIS army to kidnap the other king's count and force him to tell where the throne was being hid. The session went something as follows:

King: Where is the throne?

Count: I cannot tell you.

King: Then I will have you killed! Executioner, cut off his head!

Count: (as the axe is swinging down...) Okay! I will tell you!


MORAL 3: Don't hatchet your counts before they chicken.

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