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The Manbottle Library  :  Humor  :  Raunchy One Liners

Raunchy One Liners


What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?

A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone at the party except you.



What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.



How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?

Put a nipple on it.



What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?

Sexual harassment



What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?

$3.99 a minute.



Did you hear about the new blonde paint?

It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and it spreads easy.



What's the difference between erotic and kinky?

Erotic is when you use a feather.

Kinky is when you use the whole chicken.



What is the difference between medium and rare?

Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.



What's the difference between sin and shame?

It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.



What's the speed limit of sex?

68; at 69 you have to turn around



What's the ultimate rejection?

When your mastubating and your hand falls asleep.



Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box?

Because she kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, " Lie to me!"



Why is air a lot like sex?

Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.



What's another name for pickled bread?

Dill-dough



Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?

He heard the snowblower coming.




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