The Manbottle Library  :  Humor  :  Oxymorons

Oxymorons


Oxymorons


"Thank God I'm an Atheist"

"This page intentionally left blank"

A little big

A new classic

Academic sorority

Act naturally

Advanced BASIC

Aerobic exercise

Affirmative action, equal opportunity

Aging yuppie

Airline food

Almost exactly

Alone together

American chop suey

American culture

American education

American geographers

American history

American Beer

American English

American Geographers

American History

American Honda

Americans

Apple tech support

Arms limitation

Art student

Artificial intelligence

Athletic scholarship

Australian spelling

Automated data processing

Back to the future

Bad health

Balding hair

Bankrupt millionaire

Better than new

Boring orgasm

British fashion

Budget deficit

Bug free code

Buggy virus

Business ethics

California culture

California expressway

Canadian Culture

Casual intimacy

Catproof

Central Intelligence Agency

Childproof

Chow Baby

Christian Education

Christian Militia

Christian Scientists

Church of Scientology

Civil engineer

Civil servant

Civil Libertarian

Civil War

Classic rock & roll

Clean dirt

Clean hack

Clearly confused

Clearly misunderstood

Clinton leadership

Coca-Cola Foods

Coed fraternity/sorority

Collective liberty

College algebra

College education

Committee schedule

Committee decision

Common sense

Completely unfinished

Compulsory volunteering

Computer science

Computer security

Computer jock

Computer security

Congressional ethics

Congressional oversight

Conservative Democrat

Conspicuous absence

Constant change

Construction worker

Convienience store

Cooperative multitasking

Corporate planning

Cost Efficient

Country music

Country Music

Creation science

Creation Science

Curved line

Customer satisfaction

CNN Style

Debugged program

Debutante ball

Decent lawyer

Degradeable plastic

Democratic Congress

Department of Interior (responsible for everything outside)

Desktop publishing

Diet ice cream

Dining hall food

Disco music

Down escalator/elevator

Dress pants

Driving pleasure

Dry beer

Dry wine

DOS operating system

Economic reform

Empty hole

English syntax

Enquiring minds

Environmentalist bumper sticker

Ergonomic keyboard

European Community

Evolutionary fact

Exact estimate

Executive decision

Express bus

Express mail

Fair reporting

Fair trial

Fallout shelter

Family entertainment

Fast food

Fast BASIC

Federal budget

Fighting for peace

Final version

First annual

First-strike defense

Flat-busted

Flexible freeze

Football scholarship

Forth programming language

Found missing

Free election

Free electron laser

Free love

Free with purchase

Freezer burn

French culture

Fresh frozen

Friendly advice

Friendly competitor

Friendly fire (being accidentally shot at by your own compatriots)

Full service

Functional manager

Funny clean joke

Fuzzy Logic

Gay drill sergeant

Genuine imitation

Good grief

Good mother-in-law

Good Alan Rudolph films

Government aid

Government assistance

Government organization

Great Britain

Guest host

Gunboat diplomacy

Happily married

Hard disk

Hard water

Hazardous waste disposal

Helicopter flight

Higher education

Holy Roman Empire

Holy War

Honest politician

House Ethics Committee

Huge market niche

Human evolution

Indecent exposure

Industrial park

Intelligent lifeforms

Internal Revenue Service

IBM compatible

Journalistic accuracy

Journalistic integrity

Jumbo shrimp

Justice Rehnquist

Justice Thomas

Kentucky Fried Chicken

Kosher ham

Lace-up loafers

Lebanese government

Legal brief

Legally drunk

Liberal Party (conservative)

Liberal, Kansas

Liquid Crystal

Literal interpretation

Living dead

Long Island Expressway

Male compassion

Management science

Management support

Management action

Management style

Marketing strategy

Married life

Math teacher

Mature student

McDonalds Dinner

Medicaid payment

Metal woods

Microsoft Works

Middle East peace process

Military intelligence

Modified final judgement

Monopoly

Moral Majority

Mutual attraction

Mutually exclusive

New Democrat

New Mexico

Nice cat

Noble savage

Non-alcoholic beer

Nonworking mother

Now, now

Now, then

Nuclear defense

Objective parent

Oddly appropriate

One size fits all

OpenVMS

Operating system

Operation Rescue

Pacific Ocean

Paperless office

Partly pregnant

Passive aggression

Peace force

Peace officer

PeaceMaker missle

People's Democratic Republic Of Yemen

Personal Computer

Petty cash

Plastic glasses

Pocket calculator

Police protection

Polite cabbie

Political leadership

Political science

Politically correct

Poor Republican

Pop art

Portable standard Lisp

Postal Service

Pot luck

Precision bombing

Presidential promises

Pretty ugly

Private e-mail

Productivity committee

Professional courtesy

Progressive Conservative

Proprietary standard

Public school education

Quality assurance

Quality service

Quebec Intellectual

Quick fix

Quick reboot

R & D

Rap music

Rapid transit

Rare steak

Reagan memoirs

Real fantasy

Realistic schedule

Realtime Computing

Reasonable female

Recently new

Reckless caution

Red Indians

Relativistic correction

Religious education

Religious fact

Religious tolerance

Religious education

Religious science

Republican initiative

Restrained grandparent

Rolling stop

Rush hour

Safe sex

Same difference

Sanitary landfill

Satisfied Democrat

Saving price

Savings & loan

School (Cafeteria) Food

Scottish Danish (actual pastry sold at 7-11)

Secure Unix

Sedate sex

Semi truck

Semi-boneless ham

Senate Ethics Committee

Sensitive male

Severely killed

Silent scream

Slightly killed

Slow children (sign with picture of running child)

Smart bomb

Smart drugs

Social security

Social science

Soft rock

Software documentation

Software engineer

Software engineering

Solid glass

Southern justice

Spare rib

Sports sedan

Stealth bomber

Straight hook

Student teacher

Summer school

Supporting documentation

Sweet sorrow

Swiss Steak

Synthetic natural gas

Tame cat

Taped live

Tax return

Television critic

Temporary tax increase

The Stainless Steel Moviegoer

Tight slacks

True gossip

True story

Twelve-ounce pound cake

Unbiased journalism

Unbiased news reports

Unbiased opinion

Unbiased predisposition

Unbiased American news broadcast

Uncontested divorce

Understanding banker

Understanding UNIX

Union workers

United States

University at Las Vegas

Unix security

User friendliness

User-friendly war

Vegetable beef soup

Ventura Freeway

Violent Agreement

Virtual reality

Voting power

Waiting patiently

War games

Wilderness management

Windows NT (New Technology)

Wonder Bread

Working vacation

Yummy sushi

10K fun run

6502-based computer




This compliation is copyright © 2000-2014 Wiggins Professional Services, Inc.
Individual items contained herein are the copyright of their respective owners.