The Manbottle Library  :  Humor  :  Knowledge


- If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

- For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

- He who hesitates is probably right.

- Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

- Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

- The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

- The hardness of the butter is proportional to the hardness of the bread.

- The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

- Don't sweat petty things...or pet sweaty things.

- Money can't buy love. But it CAN rent a very close imitation.

- Hell hath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned.

- Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

- The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

- A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

- Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

- OK so what's the speed of dark?

- Black holes are where God divided by zero.

- All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

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