Dead Cat Test
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked if it was dead or alive.
"Dead," she was informed. "How do you know?", she asked. "Because I pissed in his
ear and it didn't move," said the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?", the teacher
squealed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'pssst'
and he didn't move."