Cats
You never feed me.
Perhaps I'll sleep on your face.
That will sure show you.
I need a new toy.
Tail of black dog keeps good time.
Pounce! Good dog! Good dog!
...
Little Timmy was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour
peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced
youngster was up to, he politely asked,
"What ...
[The following question was originally posed by Steven Wright.]
Question: If you strapped a slice of buttered bread to the back of a cat, which way down would it land?
[Well, ...
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked if it was dead or alive.
"Dead," she was informed. "How do you know?", she asked. "Because I pissed in his
ear ...
WHAT IS A CAT ?
1) Cats do what they want
2) They rarely listen to you
3) They're totally unpredictable
4) They whine when they are not happy
5) When you want to ...
HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL
1. Pick cat up and cradle gently in the crook of your left arm as if
holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of
cat's ...
How to wash the cat:
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water-a strong
industrial solvent often works best-and lift both ...
Yes, it's a random kitten generator, like we really need one...
A teacher puts a photograph of a tomcat on the blackboard,
and proceeds to ask the class, if they can tell her how the
tail is attached to the cat.
Little Mary has the first ...
A fellow who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day while his wife was gone. He drove the cat 20 blocks from his home and left him in a nice park. As he ...
There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.
In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats.
As every cat owner knows, you don't really own a cat, the cats owns you.
...
Washing Your Cat
Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed.
That somehow they "lick" themselves clean. Well contrary to this
popular belief, cats ...
Friday July 13 7:43 AM ET
Elderly Man Licking Wounds After Cat Attack
QUEBEC CITY (Reuters) - An elderly Canadian man was said to be
recovering on Thursday following a ...
Too much time, and tequila, and too many limes...
