Cats


Cat Haiku

You never feed me. Perhaps I'll sleep on your face. That will sure show you. I need a new toy. Tail of black dog keeps good time. Pounce! Good dog! Good dog! ...

Cat joke

Little Timmy was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What ...

Cats and Physics

[The following question was originally posed by Steven Wright.] Question: If you strapped a slice of buttered bread to the back of a cat, which way down would it land? [Well, ...

Dead Cat Test

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked if it was dead or alive. "Dead," she was informed. "How do you know?", she asked. "Because I pissed in his ear ...

Dogs and Cats

WHAT IS A CAT ? 1) Cats do what they want 2) They rarely listen to you 3) They're totally unpredictable 4) They whine when they are not happy 5) When you want to ...

HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL

HOW TO GIVE A CAT A PILL 1. Pick cat up and cradle gently in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's ...

HOW TO WASH THE CAT

How to wash the cat: 1. Thoroughly clean the toilet. 2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water-a strong industrial solvent often works best-and lift both ...

Kittens!

Yes, it's a random kitten generator, like we really need one...

Little Johnny (tomcat)

A teacher puts a photograph of a tomcat on the blackboard, and proceeds to ask the class, if they can tell her how the tail is attached to the cat. Little Mary has the first ...

The Cat

A fellow who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day while his wife was gone. He drove the cat 20 blocks from his home and left him in a nice park. As he ...

Things you should know about cats

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats. As every cat owner knows, you don't really own a cat, the cats owns you. ...

Washing Your Cat

Washing Your Cat Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed. That somehow they "lick" themselves clean.  Well contrary to this popular belief, cats ...

What can happen when a cat gets wet...

Friday July 13 7:43 AM ET Elderly Man Licking Wounds After Cat Attack QUEBEC CITY (Reuters) - An elderly Canadian man was said to be recovering on Thursday following a ...

Why cats don't like tequila

Too much time, and tequila, and too many limes...
lime kitty

 


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