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Added 12/9/1999
Twas the night before Christmas,
and all through the shack,
not a thing was a movin',
from the front to the back,
The kids were in bed,
I believe we had nine,
...
Added 12/9/1999
Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne.
God addressed Al first. "Al, what do ...
Added 12/9/1999
1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn:
Chicago.
2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window:
New York.
3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all ...
Added 12/6/1999
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform
the other of the after life. The woman's biggest fear was that there was no
heaven. After a long life, ...
Added 12/6/1999
For high school and college graduates, here is a list of 11 things they did
not learn in school. In his book, Bill Gates talks about how feel-good,
politically correct ...
Added 12/2/1999
After all those jokes about from the Boomers, finally here is one
for those folks in between.
You're stuck between the Baby Boomers and Generations X'ers if...
1. You ...
Added 12/2/1999
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake
up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to
feel all day.
- Frank Sinatra
The problem with some people ...
Added 11/30/1999
Gifts for men
Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
Follow these rules and you should have no problems.
Rule #1:
When in doubt - buy him ...
Added 11/23/1999
One morning this blonde calls her friend and says, "Please come over and
help me. I have this killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to
start it."
Her friend asks, ...
Added 11/23/1999
A 75-year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The
doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me
back a sample tomorrow."
The ...
Added 11/17/1999
President Clinton got together with some of his golf buddies for a round.
When they got ready to tee off on hole No. 1, Clinton removed his golf jacket
and revealed that he had ...
Added 11/17/1999
... THINGS ON WHICH TO PONDER:
* Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
* Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
* Talk is cheap because ...
Added 11/17/1999
Added 11/16/1999
20 Useful Expressions for High-Stress Days
1. Well, aren't we just a ray of f_cking sunshine?
2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
3. A hard-on doesn't ...
Added 11/16/1999
A Blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer.
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow
$5,000.
The bank ...
Added 11/14/1999
The San Francisco Zoo has an elephant named Calle who has a chronic illness,
requiring medication. The zoo people couldn't get Calle to take her dose
orally, so a California ...
Added 11/12/1999
Happy Halloween
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween party. She got a
terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being
a devoted ...
Added 11/10/1999
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY -
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures.
Remember, when someone annoys you,
it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown,
BUT, it only ...
Added 11/9/1999
Prayer for the Stressed
God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,The
courage to change the things I cannot accept, And the wisdom to hide
the bodies ...
Added 11/9/1999
"Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for choosing to fly with Mandarin Airlines."
As we taxi out to the runway please make yourself comfortable... and for
those of you sitting on ...
Added 11/8/1999
Three Labrador Retrievers - a brown, yellow and black - are sitting in the
waiting room at the vet's office when they strike up a conversation. The
black lab turns to the brown ...
Added 11/8/1999
Some Things You Probably Didn't Learn In School Or College:
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television
were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Coca Cola ...
Added 11/5/1999
A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."
So, the bartender does just that and ...
Added 11/3/1999
Setting Company Policy........
Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs ...
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