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'Hi, Jack' on plane triggers SWAT team by Shawn D. Lewis / The Detroit News ( http://detnews.com/ ) Waterford - Pilots named Jack, beware. Minutes after a boarding ...
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A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked if it was dead or alive.
"Dead," she was informed. "How do you know?", she asked. "Because I pissed in his
ear ...
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WHAT IS A CAT ?
1) Cats do what they want
2) They rarely listen to you
3) They're totally unpredictable
4) They whine when they are not happy
5) When you want to ...
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Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: A golden retriever
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Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away
and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
- ...
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1. They know stuff about guns.
2. A two week trip requires only one suitcase.
3. They can open all of their jars.
4. They can go to the bathroom without a support group. ...
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Washing Your Cat
Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed.
That somehow they "lick" themselves clean. Well contrary to this
popular belief, cats ...
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INSULTS
========
* Do they ever shut up on your planet?
* Earth is full. Go home.
* And which dwarf are you?
* If I throw a stick, will you leave?
* Whatever kind ...
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A woman went into a pet shop to buy her husband a pet. After looking
around she realized that all the pets there were very expensive. She
went to the counter and questioned the ...
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THE POWER OF SUGGESTION
A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the
collection plates each Sunday. Someone
suggested to him that perhaps he ...
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For those who are unfamiliar with the Darwin Award, it is given to those
who prove by their actions that Darwin was right... People that stupid
don't survive long enought to ...
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Official Moron Test
So how much of a moron are you?
It separates the dumb people from the really dumb people.
Answer the following 13 questions, then scroll down and check ...
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Top 15 best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk:
15. They told me at the blood bank this might happen.
14. This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they ...
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Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "f_ck." It is the one magical word which ,just by its sound, can describe pain, ...
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WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN
Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you're gone.
You never wonder whether your dog is good enough ...
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Top ten things that sound dirty in golf but aren't:
10. Nuts...my shaft is bent
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker
...
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A man is caught, by a forest ranger, sitting at a makeshift campfire, and to the ranger's horror, eating a bald eagle. The man is consequently put in jail for the crime. On the day ...
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A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that ...
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Heaven is when you have…
an American salary
a British home
Chinese food
a Swiss economy
an Italian body
Japanese technology
an African tool
an Indian wife ...
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Monday October 8 7:14 AM ET
Police Use Helicopter for Doughnut Run
ALBUQUERQUE (Reuters) - An Albuquerque policeman and his pilot face disciplinary measures after using a ...
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"[Some parents] want their Ambers and their Alexanders to
grow up in a cozy womb of non-competition, where everybody
shares tofu, and Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad ...
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"Ships have a soul, If I remember my history, they are female because
originally the ship was the only woman allowed at sea and was treated
with deference and respect - and ...
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An Interesting Discovery. Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one ...
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As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that ...
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