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Merry Christmas From Mom
Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married,
Merry Christmas to you, and please don't worry. I'm just fine considering I
can't breathe or eat. The ...
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Here are some quotes from Hollywood Squares Game Show in the 70's, when
game show's responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are
now. God bless Paul Lynde, Rose ...
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There was an old guy wandering around the
supermarket calling out, "Crisco, Crisco!"
Finally a store clerk approached. "Sir, the Crisco
is in aisle five."
"Oh," replied ...
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Quote of the week
"I think he's got quite the balls to open up a store nude.''
- Toronto city councilor George Mammoliti, referring to store owner
Malcolm Scott's practice ...
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You have just received the "Kentucky Virus"
As we ain't got no programming experience, this virus works on the honor
system. Please delete all the files from your hard drive ...
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Even I couldn't make this one up. You can see the article for yourself
at...
http://cbs.marketwatch.com/archive/20000304/news/current/personal.htx
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TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds
7. ...
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THINGS TO PONDER
1. Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they
already know you don't have?
2. Why do you press harder on a remote control when you ...
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A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the
woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in
a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release ...
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After all those jokes about from the Boomers, finally here is one
for those folks in between.
You're stuck between the Baby Boomers and Generations X'ers if...
1. You ...
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President Clinton got together with some of his golf buddies for a round.
When they got ready to tee off on hole No. 1, Clinton removed his golf jacket
and revealed that he had ...
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30 things Girls Think Guys Should Know
1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out.
2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
3. Don't say ...
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Next time you find yourself running dry on interesting tidbits of
conversational matter ...
Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following Islamic law:
"After having ...
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Washing Your Cat
Some people have the misconception that cats never have to be bathed.
That somehow they "lick" themselves clean. Well contrary to this
popular belief, cats ...
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Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and
were still smelling pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell,
so brides carried ...
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On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies
Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good
Die Young.
In a London, England cemetery:
Ann ...
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1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow
isn't looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as ...
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A butcher is working, and really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog, and notices ...
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Rules for Work
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
2. If it's really a rush job, ...
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This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orders a Grape Nehi.
Surprised, the bartender looks around and says
"You ain't from around here... where you from, boy?".
The ...
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Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well, here's a
prime example offered by an English professor at Southern Methodist
University, English 44A, SMU, ...
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Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner
with God. During dinner He told them: "I need three important people
to send my message out to all ...
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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate ...
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Moses, Jesus, and another guy were out playing golf in Heaven one day.
Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in the
fairway but rolled directly toward a ...
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