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In 2001 five times more money was spent on breast
implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.
That means that in 30 years there will be people
walking around with huge ...
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Oh balls...
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
several minutes, I was ...
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1. "Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam." (seen on Cape Cod)
2. "That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" (seen on an 8 year old)
3. "Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to ...
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Monday, December 11, 2000
BERLIN (Reuters) - A lovesick German who had second thoughts over a
suicide attempt nearly died minutes later when he accidentally blew his ...
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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and ...
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Doesn't this make your job seem better?
A C-141 transport aircraft was preparing for departure from a base in
Thule, Greenland. They had been waiting for the truck to arrive ...
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Things to do while your spouse or significant other is taking his/her
sweet time shopping:
1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly place them in other people's
shopping carts ...
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A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquillity had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret ...
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30 things Girls Think Guys Should Know
1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out.
2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
3. Don't say ...
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"Rules of the Road"
Stuff they didn't teach you in Drivers Ed...
If, at any time, you have witnessed a green light, it is okay to proceed through the intersection, ...
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The body of JFK Jr. has been found, so let the jokes begin...
What's the best thing about a Kennedy wedding?
The way arriving guests like to make a big splash.
They're ...
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Top Ten Suggestions for Guys While Playing Golf and/or Taking a Leak in a Public Bathroom
10. Back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder width apart.
9. Form a loose grip.
...
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An old lady in a nursing home is wheeling up and down the halls in
her wheelchair making sounds like she's driving a car. As she's going
down the hall an old man jumps out of a ...
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There was a fly buzzing around a barn one day when he happened on a
pile of fresh cow manure. Due to the fact that it had been hours since
his last meal, he flew down and began ...
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A policeman on horseback is at a traffic light and next to him is a kid on
his bike. The policeman smiles down at the kid and says, "Nice bike you
got there. Santa bring that ...
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A woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her company at home. She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot; it wouldn't be as much work as say a dog, and it ...
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- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
- Deer Kill 17,000
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- New Study of Obesity ...
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A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket-If ...
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WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN
"I'm going fishing."
Really means, "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand
by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by ...
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For those who are unfamiliar with the Darwin Award, it is given to those
who prove by their actions that Darwin was right... People that stupid
don't survive long enought to ...
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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX:
1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate ...
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The problem with some people is that when they aren`t drunk, they`re sober. -William Butler Yeats An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with ...
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FELIX THE FLYING FROG, a Parable About Modern Management
Once upon a time, there lived a man named Clarence who had a pet
frog named Felix. Clarence lived a modestly ...
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Jesus, Moses and God were out playing golf one day. Jesus teed
off first, and the ball flew straight over the fairway, landed in the
green and rolled to within a couple feet of ...
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