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A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism.
- Carl Sagan
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Because you're old enough now to know what REALLY happened...
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The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers, dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a ...
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When engineer David Bradley said "I may have invented it, but Bill Gates made it famous", to what was he referring?
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What a difference 30 years makes:
1972: Long hair
2002: Longing for hair
1972: The perfect high
2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund
1972: KEG
2002: EKG
...
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What Gender Is It?
ZIPLOC BAGS - male, because they hold everything in, but you can
always see right through them.
SWISS ARMY KNIFE - male, because even though it appears ...
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Number10:
"Scattered @#$% ing showers, my ass!"
- Noah, 4314 BC
Number 9:
"How the @#$% did you work that out?"
- Pythagorus, 126 BC
Number 8:
"You want WHAT ...
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An Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or
rearranging the letters of another word or phrase.
The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out ...
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A traveling salesman rings the doorbell and 10-year-old Little Johnny
answers, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little
boy, is your mother home?"
...
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One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three
Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the
first pig was trying to accumulate the ...
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The top 20 thinnest books
20. HOW TO LAND A PLANE AT MARTHA'S VINEYARD - by JFK, Jr.
19. HOW TO PLEASE WOMEN - by John Bobbit
18. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS-by O. ...
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AND WE WONDER WHY GOOD HELP IS HARD TO FIND!
Can you imagine working at the following Company? It has a little over 500
employees with the following statistics:
29 have ...
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For high school and college graduates, here is a list of 11 things they did
not learn in school. In his book, Bill Gates talks about how feel-good,
politically correct ...
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Some of you have voiced that Engineers are a different breed....Perhaps the
following will help you understand us.....
Comprehending Engineers - Take One
Two engineering ...
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30 things Girls Think Guys Should Know
1. Don't ever lie to us; we always find out.
2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
3. Don't say ...
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A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice
evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was
left of his hair and he decided ...
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If Men Ruled the World...
- Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable
response to "I love you."
- Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name ...
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When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy. ...
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Heavenly Entrance Exam
The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are
closed, however, ...
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Top 10 Ways to tell if a redneck has been on a computer:
10. Monitor is up on blocks
9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them
8. The 6 front keys have rotted out
...
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10 Things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say:
10) "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
9) Duct tape won't fix that
8) Come to think of it I'll have a Heiniken's
...
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Be on the lookout for the following computer viruses:
* Woody Allen Virus: Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughter card.
* Tonya Harding Virus: Turns your BAT files ...
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YOU'RE PROBABLY AGE 25-35 IF...
You wore anything Izod, especially those windbreakers that folded up into a pouch you could wear around your waist.
You owned a Jordache ...
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