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NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling ...
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The following excerpts are actual answers given on history tests and in
Sunday school quizzes by children between 5th and 6th grade ages. They were
collected over a period of ...
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A very confident James Bond walks into the English bar and takes a
seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then
casually looks at his watch for a ...
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GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either
with us or ...
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A Floridian, a New Yorker, and a Canadian are in a bar one night having some
beers. The New Yorker drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the
air, pulls out a gun and ...
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WORST FOURSOME IN GOLF
1. MONICA LEWINSKI
2. O.J. SIMPSON
3. TED KENNEDY
4. BILL CLINTON
WHY YOU ASK?
1. MONICA IS A HOOKER
2. O.J. IS A SLICER
3. TED ...
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1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn:
Chicago.
2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window:
New York.
3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all ...
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Two cowboys were leanin up against the rail at
their favorite bar. They're tired and worn out from
a long day, havin a couple of longnecks, just relaxin
and talkin, watchin ...
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It's "Let's pick on men instead of blondes" time...
What do you call a handcuffed man?............Trustworthy.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath ...
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Next time you find yourself running dry on interesting tidbits of
conversational matter ...
Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following Islamic law:
"After having ...
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1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. You know stuff about cars.
4. A five day vacation requires only one ...
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A worried father confronted his daughter one night. "I don't like that
new boyfriend, he's rough and common and bloody stupid with it."
"Oh no, Daddy," the daughter replied, ...
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A few years ago Charlie Brown and the Peanuts gang made a
new friend who developed leukemia in an animated special
entitled, "Why Me, Charlie Brown?"
Recently MetLife put ...
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Drinking on the Job
While most companies refrain from allowing consumption of alcohol on the
premises, there are some good arguments for changing that policy.
Reasons for ...
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Sean was lyin' on his deathbed with his lifelong friend by
his side.
"Paddy, me dear friend, ye remember that grand case o'
scotch we won at poker when we were in the ...
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A very wealthy man, old and desperately ill, summons to his bedside his three closest advisors: his doctor, his priest, and his lawyer. "I know," he says, they say 'you can't take ...
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One of the best examples of how ridiculous government paperwork can be is
illustrated by a recent case in Louisiana. A company president was trying to
buy some land in ...
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A teacher puts a photograph of a tomcat on the blackboard,
and proceeds to ask the class, if they can tell her how the
tail is attached to the cat.
Little Mary has the first ...
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Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya, after graduating from Northwestern University, same place my dad went to school. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull ...
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Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual similes and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each ...
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Because you're old enough now to know what REALLY happened...
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Lesson 1 A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When ...
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A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner. The man took out ...
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Merry Christmas From Mom
Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married,
Merry Christmas to you, and please don't worry. I'm just fine considering I
can't breathe or eat. The ...
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