Allan's Fate Part 2 - The Results Are In!

Well Allan, the Manbottle Society has spoken, and with 100% of precincts reporting, here are the results:

Sarah 56.5%

Jamie 43.5%


Although the society had very little to go on, a few people still reached some interesting conclusions based solely on the names...

For Sarah:

No question whatsoever. The obvious answer is Sarah. It's a good, solid, biblical name indicating she comes from a grounded, traditional family. A "Jamie" is from more progressive, hippy-type breeding. She's probably very beautiful and possibly even a stripper. Allan needs a down to earth girl who will understand and love him, yet be able to mingle with his co-workers and clients. He needs someone who, down the road as his success grows, can hostess a garden party, someone who'll know the exact right way to act when invited to a client's full mass wedding or sit shiva with a client when tragedy strikes. Sarah could do that, Jamie can't.

* Robin C.


The answer is obvious; Sarah. Jamie is a gender neutral name. She was most probably born at a time when ultrasounds were not available, therefore the gender of the fetus was not known until it exited the holding pen (womb); unless of course Allan is robbing the cradle. So her parents figured "We'll just call it Jamie no matter what comes out" since they couldn't decide on both a boy's name and a girl's name. Through gene replication Jamie most likely inherited her parent's indecisive nature on big issues. Allan does not need an indecisive women in his life; this substantiated by his abrogation of self-determination in deciding which girl to date and which to elimidate (not a typo). So Allan, go with Sarah and let her make all of the decisions.

* Steve S.



For Jamie:

If we're going purely on names I'd vote Jamie. Why? Well Jamie is also a boy's name and in my experience girls with gender neutral names tend to act less like a girly girl especially when they're younger. Jamie's the sort of name you can date and romance but also you can share a beer with her, watch a game, go hiking without having to carry a generator for the hairdryer.

* John J.


If it comes down to a name then it shall be Jamie. Because the name Jamie is definitely not main stream like Sarah.

* Cindy D.


I vote Jamie, sounds like a good time girl, Sarah is too prissy

* George W. (no, not that George)


Sarah is too biblical, Jamie is in now.

* S.



Then there was this "mathematical" approach:

I say Sarah. There used to be an old grade school match up game that we played with vowels. You took the a, e, i, o, u test. Take each name and match the commonality.

a e i o u

Jamie 1 1 1 0 0

Sarah 2 0 0 0 0

Allan 2 0 0 0 0

Allan and Sarah are alike. That's as much "science" as I will offer.

* Marika


In Conclusion: Numerically, more people preferred "Sarah" to "Jamie". Beyond that, all we can really conclude is that "Sarah" is a biblical name, which may or may not be a good thing; and "Jamie" is a gender-neutral name, which also may or may not be a good thing. I would also conclude that 1) the people who like the "Jamie" tend to be much less verbose, and 2) the people who like "Sarah" tend to think their answer is blindingly obvious.

And Allan, you should realize that ultimately the decision is still yours. The Manbottle Society is not responsible if the one you pick turns out to be a complete psycho-bitch from hell who, in a fit of rage, boils your ceramic dalmatian in a giant pot of oil, while contemplating the best way to slice off your privates while you sleep. (Okay - admittedly that's a worst-case scenario there, but you get the idea.)

So Allan, I suppose you need to have a couple of conversations with a couple of lovely young women now. We all wish you the best of luck, and we expect a full report within a week's time.