Quotes 2
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet. -Robin Williams
Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the
only time of the month that I can be myself.
-Roseanne
WOMEN NEED A REASON TO HAVE SEX. MEN JUST NEED A PLACE. . -Billy
Crystal
If you want to say it with flowers, a single rose says: "I'm cheap!"
-Delta Burke
I am not the boss of my house. I don't know when I lost it. I don't
know if I ever had it. But I have seen the boss's job and I do not want
it. -Bill Cosby
In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is
that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention
to women's breasts? -Jay Leno
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle
maintenance. -Tim Allen
We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines.
They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the
general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy
over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms." -Elayne
Boosler
There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem? -Jay Leno
The post office says they're raising the price of stamps by one cent
because they need to upgrade their equipment. Apparently, they're going
from semi-automatics to Uzis. -Conan O'Brien
Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a
plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across
that floor. I told him he was grounded. -Tim Allen
If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. -George Carlin
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
-Zsa Zsa Gabor
The problem with the designated driver program, is that it's not a
desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with
it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
-Jeff Foxworthy
