The Manbottle Library  :  Humor  :  New Taglines

New Taglines


Here are some new taglines collected from various dark corners of the Internet...



Mary Shafer of NASA Ames has said, "Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to live in the real world."


"By reading this sentence, you agree to be bound by the terms of the Internet Protocol, version 4, or, at your option, any later version."


And when I press this button, the fabric of reality collapses upon itself.


"For the twentieth freakin' time, Alice - No. I don't know how long ago we dropped acid because, as you can clearly see, my watch is crawling with scorpions!!! "


Connection closed by foreign host that probably sucked anyway.


To turn $100 into $110 is work. To turn $100 million into $110 million is inevitable. -- Edgar Bronfman


"In /dev/null, no one can hear you scream"


When not in doubt, get in doubt. -- Old Discordian Proveb


"No wonder I'm all confused -- one of my parents was a woman, the other was a man." -- Ashleigh Brilliant


A language is a dialect with a navy -- Daniel Barlow


"If you are falling, dive." --Joseph Campbell


I have often had the impression that, to penguins, man is just another penguin -- different, less predictable, occasionally violent, but tolerable company when he sits still and minds his own business. -- Bernard Stonehouse


A computer without Microsoft software is like a dog without bricks tied to its head.


Once is an accident. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.


Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves. -- George Gordon Noel Byron (1788-1824), [Lord Byron]


"Most people spend little time thinking about concepts their native language is incapable of expressing." --Tim Sweeny


Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result. -- Winston Churchill


"Press to test." (click) "Release to detonate."


"All we have to fear is fear itself!" "And almost but not quite free software..." "That too." "And binary only kernel drivers." "Okay, yeah, that too." "And..." "---shush."


Steal this tagline. I did.


1990 - "You're such a nerd!" "No I'm not! 1999 - "You're such a nerd!" "Damn straight (...and a rich one, too)" 2002 - "You're such a nerd!" "Can you spare a dime?"


Unix is a Registered Bell of AT&T Trademark Laboratories.


My grandfather once told me that there are two kinds of people: those who work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was less competition there. -- Indira Gandhi


Never worry about the past or the inevitable.


EDLIN comes free with MS-DOS, and is expensive at the price.


There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.


A language that doesn't have everything is actually easier to program in than some that do. -- Dennis M. Ritchie


I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else. -- Winston Churchill


Mr. Schroedinger, for $10000, is it behind door number 1 or door number 2?


If you've never made a mistake, you've never made anything".


"Thou shalt not steal, but paraphrasing is OK." -- Exodus 20:15, King James Bible, Teacher's Edition


Doing something stupid always costs less (up front) than doing something intelligent.


A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.


If you're not having fun, you're not doing it right!


You never forget how to fall off a motorcycle


Xork (tm) -- the other other white meat


People go to synagogue for very different reasons. My friend Joe goes to talk to God. I go to talk to Joe.


"Killing the creator was the traditional method of patent protection" -- Small Gods -- Terry Pratchett


I'm a bisexual, polyamorous switch and I *still* won't f_ck you.


For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. -- Johnny Carson


I disagree with what you say, but will defend to the death your right to tell such LIES!


Choose mnemonic identifiers. If you can't remember what mnemonic means, you've got a problem. -- Larry Wall


Windows 2000: Where Do You Want [segmentation fault]


I spent a lot of money on wine and women, and like a fool I squandered the rest." -- Benny Hill


If society were bound to invent technologies which could only be used entirely within the law, then we would still be sitting in caves sucking our feet. -- Gene Kan, creator of Gnutella


The thing that makes you exceptional, is inevitably that which makes you lonely. -- Lorraine Hansberry


Speed is subsittute fo accurancy.




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