The Manbottle Library  :  Humor  :  Fairy Tales

Fairy Tales


WOW.....if Disney only knew!


CINDERELLA

Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.

"First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees "What's the second condition?"

"You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin." Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and very satisfied

"Where have you been?" demands the fairygodmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to have turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!"

"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything." "I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!

"I can't remember, exactly... Peter Peter, something or other..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PINOCCHIO

Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper on his manhood and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.

A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"

Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

RED RIDING HOOD

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"

With that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a .44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not! You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

MICKEY MOUSE

Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court And the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f_cking Goofy."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SNOW WHITE

Snow White saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face screaming, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PETER PAN

Oh... by the way, did you know Captain Hook died from jock itch?




This compliation is copyright © 2000-2014 Wiggins Professional Services, Inc.
Individual items contained herein are the copyright of their respective owners.