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... walks into a bar...


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...walks into a bar

Two peanuts walked into a bar. One was a salted. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." A sandwich walks into a bar. ...

3 MEN IN A BAR

There were three men drinking in a bar, a doctor, an attorney and a biker. As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For Valentine's Day I'm going to buy my wife a fur ...

51 days...

A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant blondes. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ...

A bloke walks up to the bar...

A Bloke in Australia walks up to the bar with a big OSTRICH behind him, and as he sits, a small CAT jumps up on the stool beside him. The barman comes over, regarding the trio with ...

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and announces: "This is an amazing octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar that ...

A Real Cowboy

An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next ...

After Bar Closing

One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble ...

Alabama boys...

This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orders a Grape Nehi. Surprised, the bartender looks around and says "You ain't from around here... where you from, boy?". The ...

Alligator

A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's ...

Bears

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that ...

Bears in Bars

A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to ...

Beer Troubleshooting

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet. FAULT: ...

Cowboys

Two cowboys were leanin up against the rail at their favorite bar. They're tired and worn out from a long day, havin a couple of longnecks, just relaxin and talkin, watchin ...

Floridians

A Floridian, a New Yorker, and a Canadian are in a bar one night having some beers. The New Yorker drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out a gun and ...

FREE BEER

A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar: FREE BEER FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender ...

Good Dentist

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to his place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. They pet for ...

He's Not Good Looking

Two buddies were sitting at the bar in a singles' club and talking about another guy who was sitting at the other end of the bar. "I don't get it," complained the first guy, ...

His son was born without...

A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his ...

James Bond

A very confident James Bond walks into the English bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a ...

James Bond walks into a bar...

A very confident James Bond walks into the English bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a ...

MacGregor the Fence Builder

A Scottish old-timer in Scotland, in a bar, says to a young man, "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by ...

Message for the Manager

A very attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who immediatley comes over to her. When he arrives, she seductively ...

Nerds

A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying "NERDS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR ...

Quote of the Week 3

"A cageful of drunken monkeys is like a cocktail party." - Frank Ervin, a professor of psychiatry at McGill University, who is currently studying what happens when you liquor ...

 

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